Here comes the fun

Tired, achy, scalp hurts, neck sore, don't want to eat, have to eat...blech.  Hopefully won't feel like this for too long.

Follow the Chemo Road

Overall it was a good day, even for having chemo.  We dropped Sean off at daycare and drove into the city.  We got there at 8:45am.  I got my blood drawn, then it was upstairs for my appointment with the oncologist. The nurse practitioner gave me the run though of the day and possible side effects after.  The oncologist examined me and it was off to chemo.  They have 2 choices of rooms. You can either have a dentist like chair or a hospital bed.  I chose the hospital bed because the room had a door instead of a curtain.  Also I think it was more comfortable with my belly still stitched.  My mom and Rob came with me.  It was nice to have the company. They also have TV's in the room.  The nurses were extremely nice and helpful. 

My biggest fear of the day was get my IV in since I have such horrible veins and they can't use my good arm now because it is on the side of the mastectomy.  The nurse looked at my veins and decided that she needed to get someone else to do it.  I really appreciated that she didn't think she could get one on the first try, so she got someone else.  The other nurse got it on the first try.  Hooray.  They first give you another rundown of the day and side effects after.  They emphasize that I am not get to the point of throwing up and if I am nauseous, take my meds.  They do not want me throwing up at all.  The IV lasts about 3 hours.  I first get saline, steroids and benedryl to help with any allergic reactions.  I was given Cytoxan first and Taxotere second.  Overall, it was not bad at all.  I even got a foot massage by the roaming massage therapist.  We are able to order in lunch, so Rob didn't even have to leave to get us anything.  One of my friends was on her last treatment today, so we got to see her and she brought a chocolate cake to celebrate. Yummy. We are out by 2:30pm. 

Here are some pics from the treatment:

 

 Me and Seymour, my chemo pump

Me and Rob

After we left the Cancer Center, I had an appointment with the plastic surgeon.  He is very happy with my belly.  I did have 2 pinhole size opening on one side, so he took out 2 stitches, opened the area a bit and I have to put in this aquaseal stuff in everyday into the opening.  Icky, but not too bad.  I go back on Monday to hopefully get the other stitches out.  He is liking how the rest is healing.  We will see.  Hopefully, the chemo won't interfere too much with the healing.

I slept very well last night considering I only got 3 hours of sleep the night before.  I woke up this morning feeling good, until I took the steriods.  Headache and feeling hot and yucky.  But it is the only one I have to take today until my next treatment.  My belly has been ok as long as I keep eating and drinking.  Not too bad overall.  They advised me to eats lots and lots of protein.  It helps with the healing process.  The nurse advised that it is very unlikely I will lose weight, but actually gain.   Oh well, not the time to diet.

I went into the city at 12:30 to get my Neulasta shot at 2.  It is a blood booster.  The nurse showed me how to give it to myself in the thigh and the possible side effects of back pain and/or bone pain from the bone marrow growing.  Next time, I can do it at home on my own.  It is worth the $35 co-pay to do it at home.  I was back on a bus home at 2:30.  Very wet day to have to go into the city.

I think I am going to have something to drink and some green tea ice-cream and rest until the boys get home.

Thanks again for all the good thoughts and wishes yesterday.  It was nice to see all the posts on Facebook.

C-Day tomorrow

Tomorrow is chemo treatment 1of 4.  I started my meds today and they made me feel nauseous, so I have been snacking all day.  Rob is making a nice fish dinner for us tonight.  I get my sleeping pill and I will be out.

Rob and my Mom will be going with me for my first treatment.  I have my bag packed with snacks, blanket and things to keep me busy.  I get my blood drawn first, then I see the doctor and after that the chemo.  I also am seeing the plastic surgeon when I am done.

I would love any emails or you can call me on my cell phone tomorrow.  If you don't have my number it is on Facebook or you can email me for it.  Please send me all the good vibes and thoughts you have.

Relaxing Day/Countdown

So I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure in a nice green for St. Paddy's Day.  I know it is still a few weeks away, but I probably won't get back before then.  Beside I probably don't want to risk infection by going after the chemo.

Rob took me and Sean out to dinner with the money he won from his football pool at work from the Superbowl.  We got hamburgers, fries and rings.  I got this awesome beer from Brooklyn Brewery called Brooklyn Local 2.  It was a yummy chocolate beer.  It went great with the burgers.  It actually came in a wine bottle with a cork.  I thought the guy brought the wrong stuff at first.  Since it was so large, Rob helped me finish it.

I also picked up my meds for my chemo on Monday.  I got a steroid I have to start on Sunday, Ativan to help me relax and sleep Sunday night, and compazine for nausea, if needed.  My appointment is at 9:30am on Monday.  I also have to go back on Tuesday for a Neulasta shot.  It is a red blood cell booster.

Belly is getting better.  It is getting easier to move.  I drove today to get my nails done.  When the chemo starts, I know it will take even longer to heal.  The stitches will probably be in for a few weeks.

Sean noticed Shirley, the wig, the other night and asked what it was.  I explained to him why I had it and that I was going to lose my hair from my special medicine.  He seemed ok with the explanation.  He said something again today when he saw it.  He said to Rob that it was for Mommy when she lost her hair.  We are trying to explain things to him as they come in the simplest of terms for him to understand.  He is handling it well.

Short Hair

Very weird with the short hair.  When I went to wash it yesterday, I forgot how short it was and put the amount of shampoo I usually use on my long hair.  It was way too much.  The haircut is ok.  I am not crazy about it.  I think it is too long on the sides and it is hitting my ears, so I am putting in barrettes to pull it off my face.  It's not worth going back to get it fixed, since I will only have it for 3-4 weeks.

The belly wound is looking ok.  It doesn't seem to be opening this time.  The plastic surgeon put in a lot of stitches. It is going to take a long time to heal, especially when I start the chemo on Monday.

New Haircut and New Wig

Big day today.  My belly was still hurting from all the pulling and stitching, but nothing a little percocet couldn't fix.  My mom and dad picked me up for my haircut.  The hairdresser put my hair in a ponytail and snipped.  She was only able to get 6 inches, so it is too short to donate to Locks of Love.  I am a little disappointed at that.  I got my haircut.  I think I more like my sister now.  The cut is a little longer than I was thinking of getting, but my hairdresser said to come back in a few weeks to get a shorter one before I shave/lose it.  It feels very light and weird.

Here is the before and after:

We then went to find a wig.  The place was very nice.  Since they took insurance I didn't have to lay out anything for the wig, an added plus.

Meet Shirley:

It was hard to try on the wigs with all my hair, but we got a decent idea on the look.  The lady said that they do not make many curly wigs because it is not the style right now.  I have to go back for a fitting when I lose my hair and she will trim the wig to fit my face.

I was also able to get a prosthesis for my breast, since it is not fully formed yet and the plastic surgeon is not fixing my breasts until after my chemo is finished.  I am happy with how it now looks.





The day wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.  Thanks to everyone who posted thoughts and encouragement on Facebook.  It was nice to see all the comments.  Rob & Sean are not home yet.  It will be interesting to hear what Sean will say about it.  I know Rob was disappointed about me getting my haircut, but he would rather have me bald and healthy, then with a head full of hair.  I think the wig might freak him out in the middle of the night, especially since it will be sitting on my makeup table in the bedroom.  Hopefully the cats won't find it a new plaything.

I still have a way to go, but the finish line is getting closer.

All Sewn Up Again

I went to the plastic surgeon again today.  He decided to close up everything.  He said he wasn't surprised that a few stitches had opened.  He liked the progress of the areas that were closed.  It took about an hour to reclose the wound and he did a nice job.  I know, after the chemo is done, I might need some touch up work, but I still have to have my breasts finished also.  His objective today was to get it closed, even if it did not look pretty. The belly is a little sore from today's work, but I am still having a problem with one of the nerves that runs from the incision up my belly.  I don't know if I had mentioned it before, but is the source of most of my pain and lack of movement.  The right side of my belly burns from the nerve being oversensitive. Hopefully now that the wound is closed, the nerve can heal.  He is having me massage the areas 5 times a day to desensitize it.

I am also able to get rid of the visiting nurse.  She was coming every day while the wound was open and 3 times a week when Fred was attached.  I found out the other day that I was getting charged $40 co-pay on every visit.  The total bill is probably going to be about $1000...blech.  I am trying to work out a payment plan with them, since I am still unemployed.  The doctor said that I can email him a picture of the wound everyday so he can keep an eye on it instead of the visiting nurse for infection.  If any stitches open up or there are any problems, he will give me and Rob something easy to do so we don't have to get the nurse back.

The doctor gave the ok to start chemo on Monday.  He said even though I am closed, it will still take a long time for the wound to fully heal and to expect that.  Chemo delays healing.  I am glad thought I can finally get that started.  My chemo will be every 3 weeks and I will be having 4 treatments.

Tomorrow, I am getting my haircut finally.  I will post pics tomorrow.

Belly Problems Again

The visiting nurse was just here and we measured the wound on my belly and it definitely opened more, which I knew already. The center opening is now 5cm by 2cm and one of the side ones is 5cm by 1cm. We called the plastic surgeon and he wasn't surprised about it opening and losing stitches. He wants to see me tomorrow, so I changed my haircut appointment for Wednesday.

I am still hoping to start the chemo on Monday.

Happy Valentine's Day

I had a very nice Valentine's day.  Rob cooked us a wonderful dinner of filet mignon with a port wine reduction, scallops and roasted asparagus.  We had chocolate mousse cake with champagne for dessert.  We don't normally exchange presents, but he got me some this year.  He got me a pair of green gem butterfly earrings and two t-shirts. Some might not find the t-shirts romantic, but it is what they said.

 

 

He also got one for himself.

I am thinking about going to see the doctor on Tuesday, since he has office hours then for him to see the wound instead of waiting until Thursday and having the nurse look at it.  If he doesn't see it and there is a problem on Thursday, it could delay my chemo.  I will probably get my haircut and my wig on Wednesday now.

Follow-up With Plastic Surgeon

I had my follow-up appointment with the plastic surgeon to check my belly wound.   The nurse saw me today, since the doctor was in surgery. Two of the three areas that the doctor left open are now closed.  I have a 1 inch hole in the center that is still draining. It is also a little red, so they are changing me to a stronger antibiotic because of that and a low grade fever.  She was overall happy with the rest of the wound.  It still needs to be fully healed for me to start chemo.  I am going back next week to see her and then the doctor on the day of the chemo.  I am going to email her pics of the wound every day so they can keep an eye on it.  That made me feel a little better about the visiting nurse not coming everyday.

Tomorrow, my mom and sister are coming over to help me watch Sean, since Rob has to help out his mom.  My sister is bringing my little nephew too.  It will be a nice day and Sean will enjoy playing with his cousin.  He adores Liam.

Starting Chemo

The oncology nurse called me today to set up my first chemo appointment.  I am going Monday, February 22nd at 9:30am.  I get a blood test, then I see the onocologist, then I get  the chemo.  I will probably be there all day.

My belly is pretty sore today and I still have drainage from the open areas of the stitching.  It was nice that the boys were home, so I had some help. The visiting nurse will be by tomorrow to check the incision and I see the plastic surgeon again on Friday.

No More Fred

It was nice to finally get rid of Fred, the sucking wound vacuum. He did his job.  The plastic surgeon was happy with the healing so far.  His ideal situation would let it close on it's own to prevent infection, but he did not want me to delay chemo because of it.  I have to be healed to start chemo because chemo slows down healing.  It took about an hour to close the wound.  He cleaned the wound, numbed the area, sewed me up and left 3 openings for drainage.  I am limited on lifting and activity for several days, but he said my body will let me know when I can do more.  I am back on pain killers.  My belly is very sore and tight.  I got another tummy tuck from this procedure since so the wound was so wide.  I have to go back on antibiotics for 10 days again and the visiting nurse is still going to come 3 times a week to keep an eye on the healing.  I am going back to the plastic surgeon on Friday for them to check it as well.  He said that we will probably have to do some fixing of the wound after chemo, but I still have to have my breasts finished as well.  I knew that wasn't going to be done until after the chemo.  I can't wait for the belly & breast to be healed to see how my clothing will fit and maybe have to get some nice new clothing.  :)  At least I have something to look forward to after the chemo.

Rob will now be home tomorrow since daycare is going to be closed for the snow.  That will be helpful since I am having problems moving around again.  Hopefully, we will get some snow tonight so the boys can play in it tomorrow.

Time to Get Closed

Tomorrow, I am finally having my belly sewn up so I can start chemo.  They decided to do it in the doctor's office, so no anesthesia.  The nurse said I won't feel anything, which I haven't when they were cleaning up the wound.  I can't wait to get rid of "Fred" the sucking wound vac.

Here is a picture of me and Fred for the last time:

Surgery & Haircut & Such

My surgery date to close my belly wound is set for Tuesday, February 9th.  I had to change my haircut date to the following Tuesday.  I am a little disappointed about the haircut, but at least I won't have to carry this wound vac, who I am named "Fred", around with me anymore.  It will be nice to get rid of Fred.

After we got the pictures done today, I treated myself to some Godiva chocolate.  I deserved it!

Pictures

We got our pictures done today. We had a nice time and Sean cooperated.

One of Those Days

I feel blah today. I guess I should expect to have some down days. It being so grey and cold out isn't helping. I hate being stuck in the house and still having this wound vacuum attached. I can leave, but I still don't have a lot of my strength back to do it by myself. I try to think only about today, but it's hard not to think about how much longer I have with treatments.

My mom made an appointment for me for Tuesday to get my hair cut short. My Mom and sister are coming with me. Then we are going to a wig shop to pick one out for me before I lose my hair. At least my health insurance is paying for a wig and there is no price limit, so I can get a very nice one.

Tomorrow, Rob and I decided to get a family portrait done. He wanted a nice one of the three of us and me with my long hair. I know hair grows back, but a nice portrait will be nice. Hopefully the snow won't be so bad. We have a morning appointment, then Sean can play in the snow in the afternoon.

I called the plastic surgeon to find out my surgery time and found out that they are going to do the closure in the office. I am so happy that I don't have it done in the hospital. He is still going to make me sleepy, so I don't have to know what he is doing. That will be nice. They are hopefully going to call soon with the day and time for next week.

Big Couple of Days

So where to start? This past weekend I did a lot. Saturday, I was able to do our errands with Rob and Sean. We went to Macy's, Target and Babies r us. I drove home from Macy's with Rob in the car for the first time. Then in the afternoon, I felt comfortable enough to drive myself to a much needed pedicure. It was nice to get out by myself. On Sunday, we visited Rob's mom, who I haven't seen since before the surgery. Rob had been to see her every weekend as usual.

Yesterday, I went into Manhattan by express bus by myself. I decided to walk from 3rd and 34th to 1st and 32nd to NYU hospital. It was far and tiring, but I did it. I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon since we had decided on doing the chemo. I needed to discuss with him our game plan. Since my oncologist wanted to try to start chemo by 8 weeks post-op, my plastic surgeon is going to get the ball rolling to maybe get me into surgery to close my belly next week. I am currently 6 weeks post-op today. He likes how the wound vac is helping my belly heal. He cleaned up my belly again. He said there is enough skin for closure, but his ideal situation is to let it heal naturally, but he doesn't want to interfere with starting chemo. The surgery would be out patient surgery and he said he would stitches that he would have to remove in 10 days. These stitches can keep the wound open slightly to help heal properly. The whole problem is having an open wound and doing chemo. Your body does not heal easily when doing chemo. My plastic surgeon is going to coordinate dates with my oncologist. He is still happy with how my breast is healing and the rest of the reconstruction will be done after my chemo is finished.

We then went to the NYU cancer center to visit one of Rob's friends that was getting chemo. She is getting the chemo treatment that I would be getting. I toured the center and it seems nice. You have a. choice of bed or recliner chair. Each area has a TV, phone and wireless access. She explained to me the entire procedure that she is doing. It takes about 5 hours total and I would have to go back the next day for a blood booster shot called neulesta. It was helpful talking to her and seeing the center.

We then went down one flight to let the oncologist know our plans. She gave me a few prescriptions that I would need and said that we will start either the week of February 15th or 22nd.