On the Mend

I saw the plastic surgeon nurse on Monday.  She said my belly is looking good.  She did advise me not to swim this summer while the wound is open, but she said that as the chemo leaves my body, the healing will begin to be quicker. 

I had a little scab fall off on the other side of the belly and noticed that there is still a stitch in it that they forgot.  I spoke to the nurse and she wanted me to come in yesterday when I found it, but I said I was coming in on Monday to see them.  She was hesitant, but said ok and to watch it.

I have been feeling better each day.  I am still a little weak and tired, but doing better.  I think I might even start driving the boys in the morning next week, so I have the car during the day, if I want it.

Done with Chemo...On to the Next Chapter

I had my last chemo treatment on Monday.  I am very glad to be over with this chapter of the treatment.  I still have a long recovery, but things will be different now.  My oncologist said that I will be feeling about 60% better in 6-8 weeks and the rest could take 6 months to a year.  I go back and see her in a month to start the tamoxifen for 5 years.  This will keep my risk of recurrence of the breast cancer down.

I got into the room and had a different nurse, but I had a bed room which I liked better.  She was able to get the IV in on the first try.  I was very happy about that.  She wasn't a very friendly one, but I didn't care as it was my last time.  I got my foot massage and relaxed.  Rob & Debbie came by for lunch to see me and Mom.  Debbie told me to ring the bell when I was done with my treatment and I made sure to do so, along with saying a poem.  I got some hugs from the nurses and it was nice to say that I hope never to see them again.

The poem reads: Ring this bell, three times well.  It's toll will clearly say, My treatments done, This course has run and Now I'm on my way!

Everyone kept asking me what I was going to do to celebrate.  I honestly wasn't even thinking about it.  I just was happy to be done.  My Mom said she will bring me some nice chocolate pastries from the french bakery today.  I think a nice celebration will be done when I can actually taste my food again.

After we left chemo, I went to the plastic surgeon.  My belly was cleaned and we quickly discussed my continuing surgeries.  He would like me to get to a weight that I am happy with before he does any major part of surgery, but I can have some quick fixes if needed.  We will discuss more in a few weeks.

I am still continuing with this blog, since I am not done with everything yet, but I want to thank everyone for their support so far.  It has been really great to know that I have so many people that care about me.  I have a few goals to get to...can't wait to get my taste buds back, the hair I am not so concerned about, my new normal in life would be nice, my strength back and my 40th birthday in October. 

By the way, yesterday, I got out of the house and walked all the way to shopping center for the first time by myself.  It was nice to be able to do.  Sean will be happy when I can finally run after him and go down the slide in the playground.  I will be too.

Here Comes the Last Time

Tomorrow is the last chemo treatment...4 of 4.  Hooray! I am so happy.  Hopefully, my taste buds will come back before my hair which is expected to grow back in 6-8 weeks after the final treatment.  Also,  I am hoping that my belly will start healing up faster and maybe be able to go swimming by the end of the summer.  I don't know yet when the plastic surgeon will do the rest of the surgeries.  I can wait on that.

Mom is coming with me tomorrow.  We are taking the bus in and Rob is driving in earlier to be at work and to be able to drive me home later.  I get my bloods done, a visit with the oncologist, chemo and then over the NYU hospital to see the nurse practitioner to check out my belly.

Rob made my yummy dinner for me tonight of scallops, green beans and port wine reduction.  I also got my Godiva chocolates yesterday.  My treat for each chemo.  After this, back to watching what I eat.

Getting there

I saw the nurse practitioner on Monday and she likes how my belly is healing.  Last time, they gave me new packing to use in the wound and it seems to be making the opening heal better.  It is definitely a slow process.  Also she said there isn't enough skin to actually close the opening, so we will have to wait for it to close naturally.  I hope after the chemo is done that it will speed up a bit.


Sean said again that he likes my scratchy head.  I asked him if he wanted a haircut like mommy's and he said no.  He just like rubbing my head.

I took him into the city yesterday to Rob's office to take you child to work day and he had a good time.  He got to ride on the bus and the LIRR.  He colored all day with Mommy and had pizza and ice-cream.  He liked it.  Needless to say I am tired and sore today.  My last treatment is on Monday.  Hooray!!

Almost Done

It's been a rough week and a half since the last chemo.  I am having problems dealing with it this time.  It started on chemo day.  My regular nurse practitioner was not available and they gave me someone new.  Then when I got into chemo and my regular chemo nurse was not available and I was not happy with the nurse I was given.  First, they didn't have a bed-type room with a window, only a closed one and I get very claustrophobic.  My regular nurse holds one for me even though they are not suppose to.  Since I got there so late from the first appointment, nothing was available with a window, so I opted for a chair with a window.  The chairs are very uncomfortable when you still have a hole in your stomach and a bad back.  The chairs are only closed by a curtain and it was very noisy.  The lady across from me had very loud visitors.  It was hard to relax.  I know this might seem petty, but when you expect certain things and it is already a difficult time, it doesn't help.

So finally, I get into the chair and the nurse tries to put the iv in and misses.  I go ouch and he says did that hurt?  HUH????  I said please get someone else.  You only get one chance.  I have bad veins.  I guess I insulted him.  He got someone else and they got it in after running my arm under hot water.  The rest of the treatment was ok.

After my treatment, I went to the plastic surgeon to see the nurse practitioner again as usual.  Rob picked me and mom up and we went home.

Overall, the side effects weren't strong, but I lost my taste buds longer this time.  I am still having problems tasting after a week and a half. I am tired with stomach upset, but overall not too bad.  Having Sean around helps since he gets me out of the house in the evening to play with him.  He still likes kissing my head saying it is scratchy.

Monday, I ran into the plastic surgeon before my appointment with the nurse practitioner. He is happy with what he has heard from her.  He would like my belly to heal on it's own.  I am ok with that.  I have about a 2 inch hole on the left.  The rest of the incision is closed and looks like I was opened with a rusty can opener.  I was thinking today that I probably wouldn't able to go swimming this summer with it open.

Almost done...

Round 3 of 4

Next round of chemo is tomorrow.  I will be more than half way done.  Not looking forward to the side effects again, but it is good to know I can handle this.  Just my mom is going with me this time, since Sean is still home from daycare for the holidays.  Rob is going to stay home with him.  Mom and I will take the bus in and Rob will pick us up when I am I done.


Some of my eyelashes starting falling out this week and my eyebrows are thinning. I have stubble on my head, which keeps falling out too.  I can't wait for my hair to start to grow back.  It will be nice.  I also realized that I am burning easier from the sun.  That is expected.  I am fair to begin with and now it is worse.  I have to be careful.

I will see the plastic surgeon again after my chemo.  The opening in my belly is getting smaller.  My belly scar looks like I got opened by a can opener.  I can't wait for the surgeon to fix it when I am done with the chemo.

Gardening

I actually did some light gardening yesterday.  I had to clean up my garden from the winter.  Rob did most of the heavy work.  I probably won't be able to plant anything new this year, but I have some nice perennials though.  It tired me out, but at least I was moving around.

My belly is looking ok.  The scar is pretty nasty.  Looks like I got opened up with a can opener.  I know the plastic surgeon will fix it when the chemo is done.  I still have a small 2 inch opening, not very deep.  Most of my chemo side effects are gone.  My scalp is breaking out/rashy.  I guess it doesn't like not having hair.

Tomorrow, I have the plastic surgeon again for another follow up and then we are going over to my Aunt's for Passover.

No Strep For Me

After having Sean home for two days, he is finally back at daycare today.  He threw up Monday night, fever on Tuesday and a rash on Wednesday.  I took him to the doctor on Wednesday because of the rash.  He was positive for strep.  They did a test on me too and it was negative.  This morning the rash on Sean was gone, but he said he didn't want to go to daycare.  I asked him why and he said he wanted to stay home and play with his toys and he will go tomorrow.  We finally got him dressed and off he went with Rob.

It was rough having him home, but it was also nice at the same time.  I am very tired today.  At least Rob didn't have to take off the time from work considering daycare is closed next week and a half for the holidays.  Rob will be home for a few of the days and I know now I can handle him.  I just also have to nap when Sean does or if he does.

Most of my side effects from this round of chemo are gone.  I am only tired with a slight upset GI.  I do have a rash on the back of my head, but I think that is more of the short hair, hats and couch than anything else.

Kisses

Not doing too bad.  Overnights seems to be the worst on how I am feeling physically.  This round isn't definitely not as bad as the first round.  I am very tired though.  I am happy to be half way done.

I was getting Sean ready for bed last night on his changing table.  He reaches over, grabs my head, pulls it down and gives me a big kiss on the top of my bald head and hugs me.  He says, "I like your hair, Mommy."  Cute, considering I don't have any, but it just melted my heart.  He then continued to give me more kisses.  It's nice to see it not bothering him.  We haven't made a big deal out of it, so I guess he won't either.

Side Effects Starting Again

This is the worse of it...knowing some of it is coming.  My throat is getting dry.  The nurse gave me some "magic mouthwash" (with Maalox and lidacane) this time.  I couldn't sleep very well last night.  My bad nerve in my stomach is hypersensitive. Neck is starting to hurt too, along with my gums.  At least I am half way done with my treatment and I am just about bald.  I don't have to worry about my hair coming out anymore.  Hopefully, it will be nice enough to sit outside in the fresh air.  I am also getting a visit from my parents, so I won't be home by myself all day, especially when I can't move too well.

Yesterday, I got out for a little while in the yard and watched Sean play t-ball.

Half Way Done

I had my second chemo today.  It went well.  I have 2 more to go.  The nurses at the NYU Center are great.  They are very nice and efficient.  I also got a foot massage from a free masseuse.  I can get a neck or foot massage every time I go for chemo.  Nice perk.  Rob came with me and we were out of there by 1:15.  I am wearing the nice turban my mother made for me in my favorite color.

We then went over to the plastic surgeon for a wound check.  The nurse practitioner said it was looking good and in a few weeks, they might be able to sew the hole closed.  Hooray!

I also got a call from my GYN today.  My pap smear came back with some abnormal cells, but negative for HPV.  She thinks it might be from the chemo.  I hope so.  She wants me back for another one after the chemo is over in July.  I did learn that HPV test is also good for testing for cervical cancer and since that is negative, it is probably a good thing.  Also I am on chemo now, so if anything is wrong, hopefully the chemo will help it.  I also called the oncologist with the news.  I will see what she will want to do.  I did just talk to my cousin Windy and she said they told her aunt not to get one during chemo because of false positives.  So, I won't worry.

Second Chemo Appointment

My second treatment for my chemo is tomorrow.  After that, I will be half way done.  I will only have 2 more treatments to go.  Hooray!  Unfortunately, my Mom can't go with me this time.  Her power is still half out on Fire Island.  Rob is going to go.  He took the day off.

After my chemo, I will be seeing the plastic surgeon again for a follow up.

Interesting to be bald

I can now see lots of scalp.  The little pieces of hair have mainly fallen out on top.  I have a little on the sides and back.  Rob thinks it is funny that he can pull out the little hairs with ease.  At least my hats aren't pulling on the little hairs.  It is a little more comfortable.

We went food shopping today in the rain  We also had a nice day with Sean.  Rob made brisket for dinner and Sean was so happy to have a chocolate chip cookie for dessert.  We listened were music and when Careless Whisper came on, Rob said, "yucky" and Sean said, "It's for dancing." and he started bopping back and forth.

Good day.


Tomorrow, I start my meds for my 2nd chemo treatment on Monday. I will half way done as of Monday!

Out & About

I got my wig fitted and cut today.  Still not happy with it because it is straight on top and wavy on the bottom.  Nothing like my regular style, but I probably won't wear too much anyway.  Mainly, I will use it for work and such.  I did by this little curly thing that sticks out the bottom of a hat.  I probably will wear that more.  I will take pictures of the different looks when Rob is home.

I treated myself to a mani/pedi today also.  I figured if I can get out of the house I will do it the Friday before my next treatment.  It will give me something nice to look forward to before the chemo on Monday.  I painted my nails a nice green in honor of St. Paddy's Day.

I also lost half of my stubble on my head today in the shower.  I figure most of it will be gone by Monday.  I can't wait for all of it to fall out because it makes a crunchy sound on my pillow (I did start wearing a hat to sleep in) and it is getting stuck on anything I wear on my head.  Sean was cute today and looked at my head and said, "Mommy, your hair is falling down."  This meant to him that I did not have hair and not that it was falling out.

Fabulously Bald

On Sunday, my hair started falling out from the chemo.  I got a bad headache before it started and my hair felt heavy.  I thought it was funny that I could just pull out handfuls of hair.  It was really weird.  I decided on Monday for Rob to shave my head.  We were going to have Sean help.  He watched a bit, but wasn't too interested.  He decided to read some books and keep crawling under the tripod since we were also video taping it.  It took a while because we were using Rob's mustache trimmer.  It worked though.  Rob tried giving me a mohawk first.  It wasn't too successful.  He also saved his favorite curl for last.  On Friday, I am going to get my wig fitted.

Getting started:

Rob attempting a mohawk: 

One Curl to Go:

All Done:

Feeling Better

Sorry it has taken so long to post.  It's been a rough few weeks.  I was feeling fine after the chemo until the 3rd day and it was downhill from there.  I was very sore in my neck, head and throat, tired, my teeth hurt, nothing tasted good and it hurt to eat.  I was feeling better on Saturday (Day 6), but in the evening my stomach/IBS was a wreck and I had severe back cramps and that was bad until Tuesday.  I also got a rash on my hands.  Everything I got were side effects.  Now I know what to expect for next time.

My belly is doing good.  I got some of the stitches out last Monday and the rest of them today.  The nurse practitioner was very happy with how it is looking.  I still have a hole in my belly about 2 inches by 1/2 inch  wide by 1/2 inch deep.  She said it will probably take at least another month for it to heal.  I am happy with that especially with what it looked like before.

Saturday night my head was hurting.  I thought it was from dinner.  I realized Sunday morning my hair was starting to come out and that is why my head was hurting.  So since it is coming out so much, I decided to shave it off tonight.  Rob is going to do it and we are going to have Sean help so he doesn't wake up in the morning and get scared of my bald head.  We figured if he watched and we explained to him what was happening, it would be better for him.  I will get a fitting for the wig later this week.

Here comes the fun

Tired, achy, scalp hurts, neck sore, don't want to eat, have to eat...blech.  Hopefully won't feel like this for too long.

Follow the Chemo Road

Overall it was a good day, even for having chemo.  We dropped Sean off at daycare and drove into the city.  We got there at 8:45am.  I got my blood drawn, then it was upstairs for my appointment with the oncologist. The nurse practitioner gave me the run though of the day and possible side effects after.  The oncologist examined me and it was off to chemo.  They have 2 choices of rooms. You can either have a dentist like chair or a hospital bed.  I chose the hospital bed because the room had a door instead of a curtain.  Also I think it was more comfortable with my belly still stitched.  My mom and Rob came with me.  It was nice to have the company. They also have TV's in the room.  The nurses were extremely nice and helpful. 

My biggest fear of the day was get my IV in since I have such horrible veins and they can't use my good arm now because it is on the side of the mastectomy.  The nurse looked at my veins and decided that she needed to get someone else to do it.  I really appreciated that she didn't think she could get one on the first try, so she got someone else.  The other nurse got it on the first try.  Hooray.  They first give you another rundown of the day and side effects after.  They emphasize that I am not get to the point of throwing up and if I am nauseous, take my meds.  They do not want me throwing up at all.  The IV lasts about 3 hours.  I first get saline, steroids and benedryl to help with any allergic reactions.  I was given Cytoxan first and Taxotere second.  Overall, it was not bad at all.  I even got a foot massage by the roaming massage therapist.  We are able to order in lunch, so Rob didn't even have to leave to get us anything.  One of my friends was on her last treatment today, so we got to see her and she brought a chocolate cake to celebrate. Yummy. We are out by 2:30pm. 

Here are some pics from the treatment:

 

 Me and Seymour, my chemo pump

Me and Rob

After we left the Cancer Center, I had an appointment with the plastic surgeon.  He is very happy with my belly.  I did have 2 pinhole size opening on one side, so he took out 2 stitches, opened the area a bit and I have to put in this aquaseal stuff in everyday into the opening.  Icky, but not too bad.  I go back on Monday to hopefully get the other stitches out.  He is liking how the rest is healing.  We will see.  Hopefully, the chemo won't interfere too much with the healing.

I slept very well last night considering I only got 3 hours of sleep the night before.  I woke up this morning feeling good, until I took the steriods.  Headache and feeling hot and yucky.  But it is the only one I have to take today until my next treatment.  My belly has been ok as long as I keep eating and drinking.  Not too bad overall.  They advised me to eats lots and lots of protein.  It helps with the healing process.  The nurse advised that it is very unlikely I will lose weight, but actually gain.   Oh well, not the time to diet.

I went into the city at 12:30 to get my Neulasta shot at 2.  It is a blood booster.  The nurse showed me how to give it to myself in the thigh and the possible side effects of back pain and/or bone pain from the bone marrow growing.  Next time, I can do it at home on my own.  It is worth the $35 co-pay to do it at home.  I was back on a bus home at 2:30.  Very wet day to have to go into the city.

I think I am going to have something to drink and some green tea ice-cream and rest until the boys get home.

Thanks again for all the good thoughts and wishes yesterday.  It was nice to see all the posts on Facebook.

C-Day tomorrow

Tomorrow is chemo treatment 1of 4.  I started my meds today and they made me feel nauseous, so I have been snacking all day.  Rob is making a nice fish dinner for us tonight.  I get my sleeping pill and I will be out.

Rob and my Mom will be going with me for my first treatment.  I have my bag packed with snacks, blanket and things to keep me busy.  I get my blood drawn first, then I see the doctor and after that the chemo.  I also am seeing the plastic surgeon when I am done.

I would love any emails or you can call me on my cell phone tomorrow.  If you don't have my number it is on Facebook or you can email me for it.  Please send me all the good vibes and thoughts you have.

Relaxing Day/Countdown

So I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure in a nice green for St. Paddy's Day.  I know it is still a few weeks away, but I probably won't get back before then.  Beside I probably don't want to risk infection by going after the chemo.

Rob took me and Sean out to dinner with the money he won from his football pool at work from the Superbowl.  We got hamburgers, fries and rings.  I got this awesome beer from Brooklyn Brewery called Brooklyn Local 2.  It was a yummy chocolate beer.  It went great with the burgers.  It actually came in a wine bottle with a cork.  I thought the guy brought the wrong stuff at first.  Since it was so large, Rob helped me finish it.

I also picked up my meds for my chemo on Monday.  I got a steroid I have to start on Sunday, Ativan to help me relax and sleep Sunday night, and compazine for nausea, if needed.  My appointment is at 9:30am on Monday.  I also have to go back on Tuesday for a Neulasta shot.  It is a red blood cell booster.

Belly is getting better.  It is getting easier to move.  I drove today to get my nails done.  When the chemo starts, I know it will take even longer to heal.  The stitches will probably be in for a few weeks.

Sean noticed Shirley, the wig, the other night and asked what it was.  I explained to him why I had it and that I was going to lose my hair from my special medicine.  He seemed ok with the explanation.  He said something again today when he saw it.  He said to Rob that it was for Mommy when she lost her hair.  We are trying to explain things to him as they come in the simplest of terms for him to understand.  He is handling it well.