Cancer Sucks

Finally time

2011-11-30T14:27:00.000-05:00

I had my oncologist check up last month. All blood work looked great. I had my mammogram a few weeks ago and it also check out great. I had a check up with the breast surgeon and she gave me the all clear for my surgery next week. I see her again in April.

I go in for surgery on Tuesday, December 6^th for my “finishing” surgery. They are fixing my scars and doing a fat transfer to make the reconstructed breast look more like the real one. I will be out of work for 4 days. It’s been 2 years since the mastectomy. I can’t wait!

I had my 6 month check up for my ovaries 2 weeks ago and I have another hemorrhagic cyst again. I know it is from the Tamoxifen, but at least the cysts are not causing much pain. Gyn was surprised when I told her I didn’t have any. I see her tonight for my check up.

Tests, Tests and More Tests

2011-04-30T17:56:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't updated lately. A lot has been going on. I saw my breast surgeon for my check up and everything was good with that. I had my repeat blood work for the liver function and my levels are back down to normal. Hooray.

I did finally get a uterine U/S per the request of my Oncologist and of course, they found something. I have a small fibroid at the top of my uterus that is about 1 cm. That isn't too much to worry about my gynecologist said, but they also found a 4 1/2 cm hemorrhagic ovarian cyst on my right side. Right now the cyst is bleeding into itself and not out. I have to go back in 6 weeks for another U/S to see if it shrinks. My guess if it doesn't, it mean surgery. Hopefully, it will shrink.

The Oncologist also wants me to get a colonoscopy, so I have that scheduled for May 13.

My MIL is also not doing well right now. She can no longer swallow from her Parkinsons. It is really hard to see her this way. She is only on pain meds and she hasn't eaten since Tuesday.

Fatty Liver?

2011-03-24T16:07:00.000-04:00

Well the good thing is that I don't have liver cancer, but I have a Fatty Liver. They are not sure what they are going to do about it now. I have to repeat my blood test in a few weeks to see if it resolves or gets higher.

In the meantime, I called my Gastroenterologist to see what he has to say and I am going to do some more research into it. I did see one thing that Tamoxifen can cause this, but I don't think the oncologist will take me off it yet.

Oncologist Update

2011-03-22T14:47:00.000-04:00

I had my 4 month check up at the oncologist on Wednesday and a check up with my endocrinologist as well. My endocrinologist was happy with my progress and my weight loss. She was going to take blood for some tests, but I told her that the oncologist will be taking some later. She told me to have the other order piggy backed on to the oncologist’s testing. Hooray…only have to have blood drawn once. I don’t have to go back to see her for 6 months.

I saw the oncologist. She was also happy with my progress. My symptoms from the Tamoxifen have decreased. It is nice not having a hot flash every day. She wants me to see my GYN to have a ultrasound done on my uterus, etc, since I am on the Tamoxifen. There is an increase risk of ovarian and uterine cancer on the drug. I don’t have to go back for 6 months.

I went down to get my blood drawn. I have bad problems with my veins to begin with. I looked for my favorite phlebotomist, but she was not there. It was already late in the day. I didn’t think that there would be a problem since they are usually good there. I was very wrong. The lady stuck me once and that vein collapsed. She started digging and blood started dripping out. I asked her to stick me in another vein. Same thing happens again…she says I am a bleeder. No…bad phlebotomist. She finally sticks me a third time to finish off the rest of the viles. I am white as a ghost and ready to pass out. They had to bring Rob in to get me. At least the supervisor saw what happened and asked if I usually have problems with my veins. I told her yes, but usually I don’t have a problem here. She told to ask for her if the other good tech was not available.

I got a phone call on Thursday from the nurse at the oncologist. They wanted me to get an ultrasound on my liver because I have elevated liver enzymes. Great…another test. She asked me about some meds I was on. . Hopefully, it is just because of some medication and not something more serious. I went this morning to have the ultrasound done at NYU. The tech told me that my doctor will get the results in a few days. She didn’t tell me if the test went well or not. Hopefully, the results will come back quickly.

Appointments Next Week

2011-03-11T15:47:00.002-05:00

I have 2 appointments next week with the endocrinologist and the oncologist. I am also still deciding if I am getting the Zometa IV for Calcium. It has both good and bad side effects. I still have to do a little more research.

Happy 1 Year Cancer Free!

2010-12-22T08:21:00.000-05:00

One year ago today I had my mastectomy. So I am now 1 year cancer free. Everything is healed but I still need my finishing work done. I will probably do it sometime next year. I still have some more weight to lose. I have been losing about 1 pound a month. I am down about 10 lbs now. It's a good start.

Sean is home from daycare. He has been throwing up. MIL has been in the hospital for the last few days. Rob is going to see her today. Hopefully she will be out by Christmas. I know it sucked last year when I was in the hospital for Christmas. What a day already.

I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday and a Happy New Year!

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T11:17:00.002-05:00

Thankful for my health and that the family is relatively healthy too.

Oncologist and Endocrinologist

2010-11-21T16:00:00.000-05:00

I had my appointments with the oncologist and endocrinologist on Wednesday. I took the day off of work because I had to go into Manhattan for the appointments. At least I got to meet Rob for lunch.

The endocrinologist appointment was first. She was glad to hear that I have lost some weight. I now need to up my metformin from 1000mg to 2000 in the next month. We will see how that goes. I go back and see her in 3 months.

The oncology appointment went OK as well. She checked me out. We discuss my many side-effects from all my meds including Tamoxifen. I am not happy with it, but I have no choice really. The hot flashes aren't that bad, but if the do get bad the Dr. said that there are meds they can give me. She also is concerned about my headaches in the morning and my blurry vision. I think it is a combination of my metformin and the celexa (for my IBS) that I have just started taking. But since I am a cancer patient she has to rule out anything else, so she wants me to have another MRI of my head/brain. (Insert joke here) Last one I had was in June when I was having numbness in my left hand, but it was before these recent issues. She said she will give me 2 weeks to see if they resolve before I have to get it. She also discussed with me about a IV called Zometa, for calcium. It is suppose lower reoccurrence of breast cancer by 30%, so we will probably do it next time we see her in 4 months. The IV is every 6 months and will help with bone loss.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Mammo

2010-11-15T15:49:00.000-05:00

I had my first mammogram today since the surgery. They gave me all clear and normal. Hooray. Next appointment will be in 6 months.

On a side note, having a mastectomy on one side means only having one breast squashed instead of two. Hooray for that.

Turning 40

2010-10-29T12:05:00.000-04:00

One year ago today, I got a biopsy on my left breast on my 39^th birthday. The reason I got it done that day? The day before, on October 28^th, I had my mammogram and ultrasound. I wanted to get the biopsy done as soon as possible. “Next day appointment…you have an opening. Great!” I never really thought about it as being my birthday, more of the fact of getting it done to finding out quickly. It took 4 days to get the results and on November 2^nd, I found out it was positive for cancer.

Today is my 40^th birthday. My chemo is done. My hair is growing back. I am working again. I am still on the Tamoxifen for 4 more years. I still have some finishing work to do on the reconstruction. Other than that, I am alive and happy. I am a Survivor. The cancer will be just a blimp on the radar after a while. Yes, I will have to go to the oncologist for the rest of my life, but that is a small price to pay for my life: to watch my son grow up, to grow old with my husband, to be alive.

This month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This month, people will wear pink and wear ribbons. There will be walks, talks, articles and reports about Breast Cancer. Women and men will do their self-exams. Yes, men get it too. But you have to continue to be aware. Keep doing your self-exams. I did them periodically. I felt something in July 2009. I had my annual checkup with my general practitioner. He examined me, but ruled it out as the muscle being a little firmer. That is what I thought too. I saw him a few more times that month for high white blood count. Something was going on with me, but we figured it was just some infection because my numbers finally went down. I forgot about my breast issue until I went in to see my gynecologist 3 months later on October 13. By that time, it had broken through the walls of the milk duct and you could feel a pea-sized mass. It wasn’t there in July. I was nervous, but she was optimistic. She told me to get the mammogram within the next few weeks. I was 38 years old.

I was lucky. I was “only” Stage IIa ductal and infiltrating carcinoma with microscopic traces in one of the lymph nodes. If I hadn’t seen my gynecologist when I did, it could have spread further. Since I was sporadic at best about my self-exams, it could have been a lot worse. I am now more diligent about my self-exams, even though I get one from one of my many doctors every 2-3 months now.

This is not how I imagined being 40, but who imagines having cancer? On the plus side, I get to try out new hairdos as my hair grows back. I got a tummy tuck from the reconstruction surgery. Hello flat stomach! I also belong to a group that no one wants to be a member of, but has some fabulous people in it.

So, Happy Birthday to me! I am proud to be 40. I am happy that I made it to 40. I am happy that I am alive and healthy. I am happy to have a wonderful husband, son and family. I could not have gotten through this year without their support and help. Here’s to 40!

Endocrinologist

2010-09-13T08:35:00.000-04:00

I had an appointment with the endocrinologist last week again. I have lost a few pounds, but I think I have lost more inches. She changed me from the regular metformin to the long lasting. We will see how that goes. She also wanted me to repeat the 24 hour urine test, but I have time, since I am not going back to see her for 2 months.

For the first time since the surgery, I put on my medieval clothing for a fair at Sands Point. The new breast definitely acts differently than the old one. I think I will have to fix my clothing so it fits better. I still have to get my finishing work done on my breast and belly, but the bodice definitely fit weird now.

Website Name Change

2010-08-31T09:59:00.000-04:00

I changed my website name, so I can make it public again. Let me know if anyone has problems accessing the new site. http://gailcheri.blogspot.com

Onocologist

2010-08-22T15:19:00.000-04:00

I saw the oncologist on Wednesday. Sean had to go with me since she changed my appointment from next week and he was on vacation. He was very good. I spoke to the oncologist about the side effects from the tamoxifen, bone density and still being pre-menopausal. She wants me to take a bone density IV every 6 months since the tamoxifen decreases it. They only problem with the drug is problems healing from dental work. She wants me to see the dentist before I start. I see her again in 3 months and we can discuss about it then. She also talked about taking a drug like lupron to stop my periods, since my cancer is estrogen based. I am still not happy with that idea. That is why I did the chemo. I will talk to her about that at my next appointment as well. She did state that the bone density meds has a 30% less chance of recurrence for post menopausal women. I have some things to decide.

Doctor Appointments

2010-08-04T08:42:00.000-04:00

I had 2 doctor appointments this week. I saw the plastic surgeon and he officially said that my belly wound is now closed. Finally after 8 months. I can go swimming now. He liked how the scar looked, even though it is really bad. He advised me to wait a while for the scar to soften and for me to lose weight before he will fix it. I probably won't do anything until next year anyway. I don't have to go back to see him until I am ready for the surgery.

I saw the breast surgeon yesterday. She was very happy with how the reconstructed breast looks. She advised me not to get a reduction on the good one to match the reconstructed one. She too, advised me to lose weight and see what happens. She doesn't recommend anything be done to the good one, even though the plastic surgeon thought it would be ok. She said that the scars could cause issues checking for cancer later. She said she would give me a prescription for a prosthesis, but I will wait and see.

So, I will lose weight, exercise and wait and see what happens. I got back and see her in 8 months, even though she wanted to see me in 6...no appointments available. Also I have to get a mammogram in November. I only need it on the right side, since the left is reconstructed.

Hair

2010-07-30T08:46:00.001-04:00

So I exchanged business cards with someone yesterday and she looks at me and says, "No wonder you wear such a short haircut, your an artist." ????

I also started the metformin today. We will see how that goes.

Endocrinologist

2010-07-29T06:59:00.000-04:00

I saw the endocrinologist last week. She said my blood work was not too abnormal, which did not indicate whether or not I had PCOS. I do have other symptoms. I did get my period for the first time on tamoxifen the week before so the blood test results could be a little off. I hadn't had it since April, while on the chemo. She gave me a Rx for metformin and told me to come back in a month. She also wants me to start a diet like South Beach again. I was successful on it before. I figured I would start the meds tomorrow. I have to try to figure out how to be on South Beach and not have artificial sweeteners.

Sean & Mommy

2010-07-21T10:12:00.000-04:00

As you can see, my hair is growing back in. I kind of like it.

Hooray!

2010-07-09T10:55:00.000-04:00

My belly is officially closed. The doctor's assistant did remove the scab since she said it was hard skin and would not heal properly. Now all I have is what she calls an abrasion. I only need to put on bacitracin until it heals up completely. I still can't go in the water, but hopefully when I go back to see her in a month, yes a month, it will be healed and I can go in the water in August.

I also had my blood drawn today and the phlebotomist did great. I had to had 10 viles drawn and she got my bad vein on the first try. I was so happy that I asked to speak to her supervisor and give her kudos. I told her she won the gold star for today.

Nerve Test

2010-07-06T15:00:00.000-04:00

I had the nerve test done. The doctor determined that I have no nerve damage or carpal tunnel. He could not give me a reason for the pins and needles. He told me it will just get better. I didn't like his answer because I had this problem prior to the surgery and it got worse after. I think it was a cop-out and it sounded like he was saying it was in my head and not a real issue, since they did not find a problem on the test. I will talk to the neurologist after she gets the report.

Endocrinologist & Nerve Test

2010-07-01T16:15:00.000-04:00

I saw the endocrinologist yesterday. She discussed with me about going back on metformin to help regulate my hormones while on the tamoxifen. She does want me to get a blood test and a 24 hour urinalysis to confirm my hormone levels and to make sure that I am not having any problem with my cortisol levels. She doesn't think I do. I go back and see her in 3 weeks.

Tomorrow, I get to have a nerve test done on my left arm/hand that is still numb. Since the spinal tap came back clear, they still need to find out why I am having problems with it.

All Clear

2010-06-26T08:46:00.000-04:00

The final cytology came back on the spinal tap and it is all in the normal range. They want me to go get a nerve test on the left arm, but they will not be able to do the muscle test due to the mastectomy and risk of lymphodema.

My hair is growing in and it is all fuzzy. Rob says it feels like Angie's fur. It is com ing in pretty dark. Doesn't look very blond to me.

I also saw the plastic surgeon and my belly hole is just about closed. She thinks it will be closed by the time I see her in 2 weeks. Ugly scar, but that can always be fixed.

MRI & Spinal Tap

2010-06-21T11:20:00.000-04:00

I had the MRI on Thursday and the rest of my spine looks fine. The spinal tap was horrible. It took her 3 times to get it in correctly. I also wound up with a muscle spasm on the left side of my lower back the rest of the weekend. I have a mild spinal tap headache which has been getting better. I got the preliminary results of the spinal tap this morning and it looks normal. We are still waiting on the the cytology, which the doctor said should be in later today or in the morning.

My plastic surgeon appointment for today was canceled and I will got on Friday. My belly is looking good...almost closed.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Back in the Water

2010-06-11T08:15:00.000-04:00

I figured I needed to update everyone with what was going on. I have seen the plastic surgeon, oncologist and a neurologist since the last time I posted.

I am starting to feel better and getting stronger everyday. I am still tired walking for a long time, but it is getting easier. My hair is growing in. It is about a 1/4 inch now and looks dark. We will see what it will look like when it grows in a little more.

I saw the plastic surgeon to discuss my additional surgeries. I will need to get to a weight that will make me happy first before he can continue with any of the additional surgeries. Also my belly will have to be closed fully before he can fix up the scar on my stomach. Since I have finished chemo, my stomach wound has begun healing quickly. It should be closed up within a few months. The scar looks like I got cut open with a can opener, but the surgeon assures me that he can fix it. I also need to finish my surgery on my breasts. I need to get a reduction on the good one and he needs to fix and finish the reconstructed one. He is also going to do some liposuction into the area above the reconstructed breast to fill in the area left hollow by the mastectomy. I joked with him to take it from my thighs, but he said that he will only need a shot glass full to fill in the area.

The oncologist saw me a few weeks ago. I will have to see her every 3 months for the first year. She started me on the breast cancer drug Tamoxifen. The side effects suck, but they keep telling me that it will get better. She also gave me a diuretic to help take down the swelling in my legs from the chemo drugs. She also sent me for a MRI on my brain and cervical spine for the numbness in my left hand. After those results came in, the oncologist wanted me to see a neurologist. I also received a bone scan, since the Tamoxifen can cause osteoporosis. I have to take 1500mg of calcium a day to help with that.

I saw the neurologist yesterday. Most of my MRI was fine, the brain scan did show sinusitis and for one area on my cervical spine that was a little brighter than the rest of it. She advised that it could be normal for me, but she wanted to send me for more tests. I have 2 more MRIs next Thursday on the rest of my spine. I am also getting a spinal tap to check for cancer cells in the spinal fluid, just as a precaution. She advised that the after the spinal tap, the MRI could light up, so she needs to get one beforehand. This would be why I am getting a MRI before the spinal tap so she can have a baseline.

On the Mend

2010-05-08T16:11:00.000-04:00

I saw the plastic surgeon nurse on Monday. She said my belly is looking good. She did advise me not to swim this summer while the wound is open, but she said that as the chemo leaves my body, the healing will begin to be quicker.

I had a little scab fall off on the other side of the belly and noticed that there is still a stitch in it that they forgot. I spoke to the nurse and she wanted me to come in yesterday when I found it, but I said I was coming in on Monday to see them. She was hesitant, but said ok and to watch it.

I have been feeling better each day. I am still a little weak and tired, but doing better. I think I might even start driving the boys in the morning next week, so I have the car during the day, if I want it.

Done with Chemo...On to the Next Chapter

2010-04-28T11:19:00.000-04:00

I had my last chemo treatment on Monday. I am very glad to be over with this chapter of the treatment. I still have a long recovery, but things will be different now. My oncologist said that I will be feeling about 60% better in 6-8 weeks and the rest could take 6 months to a year. I go back and see her in a month to start the tamoxifen for 5 years. This will keep my risk of recurrence of the breast cancer down.

I got into the room and had a different nurse, but I had a bed room which I liked better. She was able to get the IV in on the first try. I was very happy about that. She wasn't a very friendly one, but I didn't care as it was my last time. I got my foot massage and relaxed. Rob & Debbie came by for lunch to see me and Mom. Debbie told me to ring the bell when I was done with my treatment and I made sure to do so, along with saying a poem. I got some hugs from the nurses and it was nice to say that I hope never to see them again.

The poem reads: Ring this bell, three times well. It's toll will clearly say, My treatments done, This course has run and Now I'm on my way!

Everyone kept asking me what I was going to do to celebrate. I honestly wasn't even thinking about it. I just was happy to be done. My Mom said she will bring me some nice chocolate pastries from the french bakery today. I think a nice celebration will be done when I can actually taste my food again.

After we left chemo, I went to the plastic surgeon. My belly was cleaned and we quickly discussed my continuing surgeries. He would like me to get to a weight that I am happy with before he does any major part of surgery, but I can have some quick fixes if needed. We will discuss more in a few weeks.

I am still continuing with this blog, since I am not done with everything yet, but I want to thank everyone for their support so far. It has been really great to know that I have so many people that care about me. I have a few goals to get to...can't wait to get my taste buds back, the hair I am not so concerned about, my new normal in life would be nice, my strength back and my 40th birthday in October.

By the way, yesterday, I got out of the house and walked all the way to shopping center for the first time by myself. It was nice to be able to do. Sean will be happy when I can finally run after him and go down the slide in the playground. I will be too.

Here Comes the Last Time

2010-04-25T20:27:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is the last chemo treatment...4 of 4. Hooray! I am so happy. Hopefully, my taste buds will come back before my hair which is expected to grow back in 6-8 weeks after the final treatment. Also, I am hoping that my belly will start healing up faster and maybe be able to go swimming by the end of the summer. I don't know yet when the plastic surgeon will do the rest of the surgeries. I can wait on that.

Mom is coming with me tomorrow. We are taking the bus in and Rob is driving in earlier to be at work and to be able to drive me home later. I get my bloods done, a visit with the oncologist, chemo and then over the NYU hospital to see the nurse practitioner to check out my belly.

Rob made my yummy dinner for me tonight of scallops, green beans and port wine reduction. I also got my Godiva chocolates yesterday. My treat for each chemo. After this, back to watching what I eat.

Getting there

2010-04-23T10:23:00.000-04:00

I saw the nurse practitioner on Monday and she likes how my belly is healing. Last time, they gave me new packing to use in the wound and it seems to be making the opening heal better. It is definitely a slow process. Also she said there isn't enough skin to actually close the opening, so we will have to wait for it to close naturally. I hope after the chemo is done that it will speed up a bit.

Sean said again that he likes my scratchy head. I asked him if he wanted a haircut like mommy's and he said no. He just like rubbing my head.

I took him into the city yesterday to Rob's office to take you child to work day and he had a good time. He got to ride on the bus and the LIRR. He colored all day with Mommy and had pizza and ice-cream. He liked it. Needless to say I am tired and sore today. My last treatment is on Monday. Hooray!!

Almost Done

2010-04-14T14:57:00.000-04:00

It's been a rough week and a half since the last chemo. I am having problems dealing with it this time. It started on chemo day. My regular nurse practitioner was not available and they gave me someone new. Then when I got into chemo and my regular chemo nurse was not available and I was not happy with the nurse I was given. First, they didn't have a bed-type room with a window, only a closed one and I get very claustrophobic. My regular nurse holds one for me even though they are not suppose to. Since I got there so late from the first appointment, nothing was available with a window, so I opted for a chair with a window. The chairs are very uncomfortable when you still have a hole in your stomach and a bad back. The chairs are only closed by a curtain and it was very noisy. The lady across from me had very loud visitors. It was hard to relax. I know this might seem petty, but when you expect certain things and it is already a difficult time, it doesn't help.

So finally, I get into the chair and the nurse tries to put the iv in and misses. I go ouch and he says did that hurt? HUH???? I said please get someone else. You only get one chance. I have bad veins. I guess I insulted him. He got someone else and they got it in after running my arm under hot water. The rest of the treatment was ok.

After my treatment, I went to the plastic surgeon to see the nurse practitioner again as usual. Rob picked me and mom up and we went home.

Overall, the side effects weren't strong, but I lost my taste buds longer this time. I am still having problems tasting after a week and a half. I am tired with stomach upset, but overall not too bad. Having Sean around helps since he gets me out of the house in the evening to play with him. He still likes kissing my head saying it is scratchy.

Monday, I ran into the plastic surgeon before my appointment with the nurse practitioner. He is happy with what he has heard from her. He would like my belly to heal on it's own. I am ok with that. I have about a 2 inch hole on the left. The rest of the incision is closed and looks like I was opened with a rusty can opener. I was thinking today that I probably wouldn't able to go swimming this summer with it open.

Almost done...

Round 3 of 4

2010-04-04T09:41:00.000-04:00

Next round of chemo is tomorrow. I will be more than half way done. Not looking forward to the side effects again, but it is good to know I can handle this. Just my mom is going with me this time, since Sean is still home from daycare for the holidays. Rob is going to stay home with him. Mom and I will take the bus in and Rob will pick us up when I am I done.

Some of my eyelashes starting falling out this week and my eyebrows are thinning. I have stubble on my head, which keeps falling out too. I can't wait for my hair to start to grow back. It will be nice. I also realized that I am burning easier from the sun. That is expected. I am fair to begin with and now it is worse. I have to be careful.

I will see the plastic surgeon again after my chemo. The opening in my belly is getting smaller. My belly scar looks like I got opened by a can opener. I can't wait for the surgeon to fix it when I am done with the chemo.

BRCA Gene Testing

2010-03-31T10:21:00.002-04:00

This is good news. I had this test done and the insurance paid for it. It was very expensive. This will help bring down cost. It also took 4-6 weeks to get. Maybe if other labs have it, it won't take as long.

From the NY Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/31/business/31gene.html?hp

On Monday, Mr. Sweet, a United States district judge in Manhattan, ruled that parts of patents held by Myriad Genetics covering two breast cancer genes, known as BRCA1 and BRCA2, were invalid.

Myriad analyzes those genes in an expensive test that predicts whether a woman is at a high risk of getting breast or ovarian cancer. The plaintiffs in the case, which included various medical groups and the American Civil Liberties Union, said the patents on DNA were illegal and impeded access to the testing.

Gardening

2010-03-28T08:53:00.000-04:00

I actually did some light gardening yesterday. I had to clean up my garden from the winter. Rob did most of the heavy work. I probably won't be able to plant anything new this year, but I have some nice perennials though. It tired me out, but at least I was moving around.

My belly is looking ok. The scar is pretty nasty. Looks like I got opened up with a can opener. I know the plastic surgeon will fix it when the chemo is done. I still have a small 2 inch opening, not very deep. Most of my chemo side effects are gone. My scalp is breaking out/rashy. I guess it doesn't like not having hair.

Tomorrow, I have the plastic surgeon again for another follow up and then we are going over to my Aunt's for Passover.

No Strep For Me

2010-03-25T11:08:00.001-04:00

After having Sean home for two days, he is finally back at daycare today. He threw up Monday night, fever on Tuesday and a rash on Wednesday. I took him to the doctor on Wednesday because of the rash. He was positive for strep. They did a test on me too and it was negative. This morning the rash on Sean was gone, but he said he didn't want to go to daycare. I asked him why and he said he wanted to stay home and play with his toys and he will go tomorrow. We finally got him dressed and off he went with Rob.

It was rough having him home, but it was also nice at the same time. I am very tired today. At least Rob didn't have to take off the time from work considering daycare is closed next week and a half for the holidays. Rob will be home for a few of the days and I know now I can handle him. I just also have to nap when Sean does or if he does.

Most of my side effects from this round of chemo are gone. I am only tired with a slight upset GI. I do have a rash on the back of my head, but I think that is more of the short hair, hats and couch than anything else.

Kisses

2010-03-19T14:49:00.000-04:00

Not doing too bad. Overnights seems to be the worst on how I am feeling physically. This round isn't definitely not as bad as the first round. I am very tired though. I am happy to be half way done.

I was getting Sean ready for bed last night on his changing table. He reaches over, grabs my head, pulls it down and gives me a big kiss on the top of my bald head and hugs me. He says, "I like your hair, Mommy." Cute, considering I don't have any, but it just melted my heart. He then continued to give me more kisses. It's nice to see it not bothering him. We haven't made a big deal out of it, so I guess he won't either.

Side Effects Starting Again

2010-03-17T07:19:00.000-04:00

This is the worse of it...knowing some of it is coming. My throat is getting dry. The nurse gave me some "magic mouthwash" (with Maalox and lidacane) this time. I couldn't sleep very well last night. My bad nerve in my stomach is hypersensitive. Neck is starting to hurt too, along with my gums. At least I am half way done with my treatment and I am just about bald. I don't have to worry about my hair coming out anymore. Hopefully, it will be nice enough to sit outside in the fresh air. I am also getting a visit from my parents, so I won't be home by myself all day, especially when I can't move too well.

Yesterday, I got out for a little while in the yard and watched Sean play t-ball.

Half Way Done

2010-03-15T16:59:00.001-04:00

I had my second chemo today. It went well. I have 2 more to go. The nurses at the NYU Center are great. They are very nice and efficient. I also got a foot massage from a free masseuse. I can get a neck or foot massage every time I go for chemo. Nice perk. Rob came with me and we were out of there by 1:15. I am wearing the nice turban my mother made for me in my favorite color.

We then went over to the plastic surgeon for a wound check. The nurse practitioner said it was looking good and in a few weeks, they might be able to sew the hole closed. Hooray!

I also got a call from my GYN today. My pap smear came back with some abnormal cells, but negative for HPV. She thinks it might be from the chemo. I hope so. She wants me back for another one after the chemo is over in July. I did learn that HPV test is also good for testing for cervical cancer and since that is negative, it is probably a good thing. Also I am on chemo now, so if anything is wrong, hopefully the chemo will help it. I also called the oncologist with the news. I will see what she will want to do. I did just talk to my cousin Windy and she said they told her aunt not to get one during chemo because of false positives. So, I won't worry.

Second Chemo Appointment

2010-03-14T20:28:00.000-04:00

My second treatment for my chemo is tomorrow. After that, I will be half way done. I will only have 2 more treatments to go. Hooray! Unfortunately, my Mom can't go with me this time. Her power is still half out on Fire Island. Rob is going to go. He took the day off.

After my chemo, I will be seeing the plastic surgeon again for a follow up.

Interesting to be bald

2010-03-13T19:51:00.000-05:00

I can now see lots of scalp. The little pieces of hair have mainly fallen out on top. I have a little on the sides and back. Rob thinks it is funny that he can pull out the little hairs with ease. At least my hats aren't pulling on the little hairs. It is a little more comfortable.

We went food shopping today in the rain We also had a nice day with Sean. Rob made brisket for dinner and Sean was so happy to have a chocolate chip cookie for dessert. We listened were music and when Careless Whisper came on, Rob said, "yucky" and Sean said, "It's for dancing." and he started bopping back and forth.

Good day.

Tomorrow, I start my meds for my 2nd chemo treatment on Monday. I will half way done as of Monday!

Out & About

2010-03-12T15:13:00.000-05:00

I got my wig fitted and cut today. Still not happy with it because it is straight on top and wavy on the bottom. Nothing like my regular style, but I probably won't wear too much anyway. Mainly, I will use it for work and such. I did by this little curly thing that sticks out the bottom of a hat. I probably will wear that more. I will take pictures of the different looks when Rob is home.

I treated myself to a mani/pedi today also. I figured if I can get out of the house I will do it the Friday before my next treatment. It will give me something nice to look forward to before the chemo on Monday. I painted my nails a nice green in honor of St. Paddy's Day.

I also lost half of my stubble on my head today in the shower. I figure most of it will be gone by Monday. I can't wait for all of it to fall out because it makes a crunchy sound on my pillow (I did start wearing a hat to sleep in) and it is getting stuck on anything I wear on my head. Sean was cute today and looked at my head and said, "Mommy, your hair is falling down." This meant to him that I did not have hair and not that it was falling out.

Bald Buddies

2010-03-11T19:43:00.000-05:00

Pat came over to visit. Gotta love the pic.

Fabulously Bald

2010-03-10T16:56:00.003-05:00

On Sunday, my hair started falling out from the chemo. I got a bad headache before it started and my hair felt heavy. I thought it was funny that I could just pull out handfuls of hair. It was really weird. I decided on Monday for Rob to shave my head. We were going to have Sean help. He watched a bit, but wasn't too interested. He decided to read some books and keep crawling under the tripod since we were also video taping it. It took a while because we were using Rob's mustache trimmer. It worked though. Rob tried giving me a mohawk first. It wasn't too successful. He also saved his favorite curl for last. On Friday, I am going to get my wig fitted.

Getting started:

Rob attempting a mohawk:

One Curl to Go:

All Done:

Feeling Better

2010-03-08T15:24:00.000-05:00

Sorry it has taken so long to post. It's been a rough few weeks. I was feeling fine after the chemo until the 3rd day and it was downhill from there. I was very sore in my neck, head and throat, tired, my teeth hurt, nothing tasted good and it hurt to eat. I was feeling better on Saturday (Day 6), but in the evening my stomach/IBS was a wreck and I had severe back cramps and that was bad until Tuesday. I also got a rash on my hands. Everything I got were side effects. Now I know what to expect for next time.

My belly is doing good. I got some of the stitches out last Monday and the rest of them today. The nurse practitioner was very happy with how it is looking. I still have a hole in my belly about 2 inches by 1/2 inch wide by 1/2 inch deep. She said it will probably take at least another month for it to heal. I am happy with that especially with what it looked like before.

Saturday night my head was hurting. I thought it was from dinner. I realized Sunday morning my hair was starting to come out and that is why my head was hurting. So since it is coming out so much, I decided to shave it off tonight. Rob is going to do it and we are going to have Sean help so he doesn't wake up in the morning and get scared of my bald head. We figured if he watched and we explained to him what was happening, it would be better for him. I will get a fitting for the wig later this week.

Here comes the fun

2010-02-24T15:59:00.000-05:00

Tired, achy, scalp hurts, neck sore, don't want to eat, have to eat...blech. Hopefully won't feel like this for too long.

Follow the Chemo Road

2010-02-23T16:55:00.000-05:00

Overall it was a good day, even for having chemo. We dropped Sean off at daycare and drove into the city. We got there at 8:45am. I got my blood drawn, then it was upstairs for my appointment with the oncologist. The nurse practitioner gave me the run though of the day and possible side effects after. The oncologist examined me and it was off to chemo. They have 2 choices of rooms. You can either have a dentist like chair or a hospital bed. I chose the hospital bed because the room had a door instead of a curtain. Also I think it was more comfortable with my belly still stitched. My mom and Rob came with me. It was nice to have the company. They also have TV's in the room. The nurses were extremely nice and helpful.

My biggest fear of the day was get my IV in since I have such horrible veins and they can't use my good arm now because it is on the side of the mastectomy. The nurse looked at my veins and decided that she needed to get someone else to do it. I really appreciated that she didn't think she could get one on the first try, so she got someone else. The other nurse got it on the first try. Hooray. They first give you another rundown of the day and side effects after. They emphasize that I am not get to the point of throwing up and if I am nauseous, take my meds. They do not want me throwing up at all. The IV lasts about 3 hours. I first get saline, steroids and benedryl to help with any allergic reactions. I was given Cytoxan first and Taxotere second. Overall, it was not bad at all. I even got a foot massage by the roaming massage therapist. We are able to order in lunch, so Rob didn't even have to leave to get us anything. One of my friends was on her last treatment today, so we got to see her and she brought a chocolate cake to celebrate. Yummy. We are out by 2:30pm.

Here are some pics from the treatment:

Me and Seymour, my chemo pump

Me and Rob

After we left the Cancer Center, I had an appointment with the plastic surgeon. He is very happy with my belly. I did have 2 pinhole size opening on one side, so he took out 2 stitches, opened the area a bit and I have to put in this aquaseal stuff in everyday into the opening. Icky, but not too bad. I go back on Monday to hopefully get the other stitches out. He is liking how the rest is healing. We will see. Hopefully, the chemo won't interfere too much with the healing.

I slept very well last night considering I only got 3 hours of sleep the night before. I woke up this morning feeling good, until I took the steriods. Headache and feeling hot and yucky. But it is the only one I have to take today until my next treatment. My belly has been ok as long as I keep eating and drinking. Not too bad overall. They advised me to eats lots and lots of protein. It helps with the healing process. The nurse advised that it is very unlikely I will lose weight, but actually gain. Oh well, not the time to diet.

I went into the city at 12:30 to get my Neulasta shot at 2. It is a blood booster. The nurse showed me how to give it to myself in the thigh and the possible side effects of back pain and/or bone pain from the bone marrow growing. Next time, I can do it at home on my own. It is worth the $35 co-pay to do it at home. I was back on a bus home at 2:30. Very wet day to have to go into the city.

I think I am going to have something to drink and some green tea ice-cream and rest until the boys get home.

Thanks again for all the good thoughts and wishes yesterday. It was nice to see all the posts on Facebook.

C-Day tomorrow

2010-02-21T17:51:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is chemo treatment 1of 4. I started my meds today and they made me feel nauseous, so I have been snacking all day. Rob is making a nice fish dinner for us tonight. I get my sleeping pill and I will be out.

Rob and my Mom will be going with me for my first treatment. I have my bag packed with snacks, blanket and things to keep me busy. I get my blood drawn first, then I see the doctor and after that the chemo. I also am seeing the plastic surgeon when I am done.

I would love any emails or you can call me on my cell phone tomorrow. If you don't have my number it is on Facebook or you can email me for it. Please send me all the good vibes and thoughts you have.

Relaxing Day/Countdown

2010-02-20T20:06:00.001-05:00

So I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure in a nice green for St. Paddy's Day. I know it is still a few weeks away, but I probably won't get back before then. Beside I probably don't want to risk infection by going after the chemo.

Rob took me and Sean out to dinner with the money he won from his football pool at work from the Superbowl. We got hamburgers, fries and rings. I got this awesome beer from Brooklyn Brewery called Brooklyn Local 2. It was a yummy chocolate beer. It went great with the burgers. It actually came in a wine bottle with a cork. I thought the guy brought the wrong stuff at first. Since it was so large, Rob helped me finish it.

I also picked up my meds for my chemo on Monday. I got a steroid I have to start on Sunday, Ativan to help me relax and sleep Sunday night, and compazine for nausea, if needed. My appointment is at 9:30am on Monday. I also have to go back on Tuesday for a Neulasta shot. It is a red blood cell booster.

Belly is getting better. It is getting easier to move. I drove today to get my nails done. When the chemo starts, I know it will take even longer to heal. The stitches will probably be in for a few weeks.

Sean noticed Shirley, the wig, the other night and asked what it was. I explained to him why I had it and that I was going to lose my hair from my special medicine. He seemed ok with the explanation. He said something again today when he saw it. He said to Rob that it was for Mommy when she lost her hair. We are trying to explain things to him as they come in the simplest of terms for him to understand. He is handling it well.

Short Hair

2010-02-19T09:56:00.001-05:00

Very weird with the short hair. When I went to wash it yesterday, I forgot how short it was and put the amount of shampoo I usually use on my long hair. It was way too much. The haircut is ok. I am not crazy about it. I think it is too long on the sides and it is hitting my ears, so I am putting in barrettes to pull it off my face. It's not worth going back to get it fixed, since I will only have it for 3-4 weeks.

The belly wound is looking ok. It doesn't seem to be opening this time. The plastic surgeon put in a lot of stitches. It is going to take a long time to heal, especially when I start the chemo on Monday.

New Haircut and New Wig

2010-02-17T16:41:00.000-05:00

Big day today. My belly was still hurting from all the pulling and stitching, but nothing a little percocet couldn't fix. My mom and dad picked me up for my haircut. The hairdresser put my hair in a ponytail and snipped. She was only able to get 6 inches, so it is too short to donate to Locks of Love. I am a little disappointed at that. I got my haircut. I think I more like my sister now. The cut is a little longer than I was thinking of getting, but my hairdresser said to come back in a few weeks to get a shorter one before I shave/lose it. It feels very light and weird.

Here is the before and after:

We then went to find a wig. The place was very nice. Since they took insurance I didn't have to lay out anything for the wig, an added plus.

Meet Shirley:

It was hard to try on the wigs with all my hair, but we got a decent idea on the look. The lady said that they do not make many curly wigs because it is not the style right now. I have to go back for a fitting when I lose my hair and she will trim the wig to fit my face.

I was also able to get a prosthesis for my breast, since it is not fully formed yet and the plastic surgeon is not fixing my breasts until after my chemo is finished. I am happy with how it now looks.

The day wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Thanks to everyone who posted thoughts and encouragement on Facebook. It was nice to see all the comments. Rob & Sean are not home yet. It will be interesting to hear what Sean will say about it. I know Rob was disappointed about me getting my haircut, but he would rather have me bald and healthy, then with a head full of hair. I think the wig might freak him out in the middle of the night, especially since it will be sitting on my makeup table in the bedroom. Hopefully the cats won't find it a new plaything.

I still have a way to go, but the finish line is getting closer.

All Sewn Up Again

2010-02-16T16:20:00.000-05:00

I went to the plastic surgeon again today. He decided to close up everything. He said he wasn't surprised that a few stitches had opened. He liked the progress of the areas that were closed. It took about an hour to reclose the wound and he did a nice job. I know, after the chemo is done, I might need some touch up work, but I still have to have my breasts finished also. His objective today was to get it closed, even if it did not look pretty. The belly is a little sore from today's work, but I am still having a problem with one of the nerves that runs from the incision up my belly. I don't know if I had mentioned it before, but is the source of most of my pain and lack of movement. The right side of my belly burns from the nerve being oversensitive. Hopefully now that the wound is closed, the nerve can heal. He is having me massage the areas 5 times a day to desensitize it.

I am also able to get rid of the visiting nurse. She was coming every day while the wound was open and 3 times a week when Fred was attached. I found out the other day that I was getting charged $40 co-pay on every visit. The total bill is probably going to be about $1000...blech. I am trying to work out a payment plan with them, since I am still unemployed. The doctor said that I can email him a picture of the wound everyday so he can keep an eye on it instead of the visiting nurse for infection. If any stitches open up or there are any problems, he will give me and Rob something easy to do so we don't have to get the nurse back.

The doctor gave the ok to start chemo on Monday. He said even though I am closed, it will still take a long time for the wound to fully heal and to expect that. Chemo delays healing. I am glad thought I can finally get that started. My chemo will be every 3 weeks and I will be having 4 treatments.

Tomorrow, I am getting my haircut finally. I will post pics tomorrow.

Belly Problems Again

2010-02-15T14:44:00.000-05:00

The visiting nurse was just here and we measured the wound on my belly and it definitely opened more, which I knew already. The center opening is now 5cm by 2cm and one of the side ones is 5cm by 1cm. We called the plastic surgeon and he wasn't surprised about it opening and losing stitches. He wants to see me tomorrow, so I changed my haircut appointment for Wednesday.

I am still hoping to start the chemo on Monday.

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T19:14:00.000-05:00

I had a very nice Valentine's day. Rob cooked us a wonderful dinner of filet mignon with a port wine reduction, scallops and roasted asparagus. We had chocolate mousse cake with champagne for dessert. We don't normally exchange presents, but he got me some this year. He got me a pair of green gem butterfly earrings and two t-shirts. Some might not find the t-shirts romantic, but it is what they said.

He also got one for himself.

I am thinking about going to see the doctor on Tuesday, since he has office hours then for him to see the wound instead of waiting until Thursday and having the nurse look at it. If he doesn't see it and there is a problem on Thursday, it could delay my chemo. I will probably get my haircut and my wig on Wednesday now.

Follow-up With Plastic Surgeon

2010-02-12T15:37:00.000-05:00

I had my follow-up appointment with the plastic surgeon to check my belly wound. The nurse saw me today, since the doctor was in surgery. Two of the three areas that the doctor left open are now closed. I have a 1 inch hole in the center that is still draining. It is also a little red, so they are changing me to a stronger antibiotic because of that and a low grade fever. She was overall happy with the rest of the wound. It still needs to be fully healed for me to start chemo. I am going back next week to see her and then the doctor on the day of the chemo. I am going to email her pics of the wound every day so they can keep an eye on it. That made me feel a little better about the visiting nurse not coming everyday.

Tomorrow, my mom and sister are coming over to help me watch Sean, since Rob has to help out his mom. My sister is bringing my little nephew too. It will be a nice day and Sean will enjoy playing with his cousin. He adores Liam.

Starting Chemo

2010-02-10T17:27:00.000-05:00

The oncology nurse called me today to set up my first chemo appointment. I am going Monday, February 22nd at 9:30am. I get a blood test, then I see the onocologist, then I get the chemo. I will probably be there all day.

My belly is pretty sore today and I still have drainage from the open areas of the stitching. It was nice that the boys were home, so I had some help. The visiting nurse will be by tomorrow to check the incision and I see the plastic surgeon again on Friday.

No More Fred

2010-02-09T16:54:00.000-05:00

It was nice to finally get rid of Fred, the sucking wound vacuum. He did his job. The plastic surgeon was happy with the healing so far. His ideal situation would let it close on it's own to prevent infection, but he did not want me to delay chemo because of it. I have to be healed to start chemo because chemo slows down healing. It took about an hour to close the wound. He cleaned the wound, numbed the area, sewed me up and left 3 openings for drainage. I am limited on lifting and activity for several days, but he said my body will let me know when I can do more. I am back on pain killers. My belly is very sore and tight. I got another tummy tuck from this procedure since so the wound was so wide. I have to go back on antibiotics for 10 days again and the visiting nurse is still going to come 3 times a week to keep an eye on the healing. I am going back to the plastic surgeon on Friday for them to check it as well. He said that we will probably have to do some fixing of the wound after chemo, but I still have to have my breasts finished as well. I knew that wasn't going to be done until after the chemo. I can't wait for the belly & breast to be healed to see how my clothing will fit and maybe have to get some nice new clothing. :) At least I have something to look forward to after the chemo.

Rob will now be home tomorrow since daycare is going to be closed for the snow. That will be helpful since I am having problems moving around again. Hopefully, we will get some snow tonight so the boys can play in it tomorrow.

Time to Get Closed

2010-02-08T20:00:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow, I am finally having my belly sewn up so I can start chemo. They decided to do it in the doctor's office, so no anesthesia. The nurse said I won't feel anything, which I haven't when they were cleaning up the wound. I can't wait to get rid of "Fred" the sucking wound vac.

Here is a picture of me and Fred for the last time:

Surgery & Haircut & Such

2010-02-06T14:38:00.000-05:00

My surgery date to close my belly wound is set for Tuesday, February 9th. I had to change my haircut date to the following Tuesday. I am a little disappointed about the haircut, but at least I won't have to carry this wound vac, who I am named "Fred", around with me anymore. It will be nice to get rid of Fred.

After we got the pictures done today, I treated myself to some Godiva chocolate. I deserved it!

Pictures

2010-02-06T14:23:00.003-05:00

We got our pictures done today. We had a nice time and Sean cooperated.

One of Those Days

2010-02-05T16:12:00.000-05:00

I feel blah today. I guess I should expect to have some down days. It being so grey and cold out isn't helping. I hate being stuck in the house and still having this wound vacuum attached. I can leave, but I still don't have a lot of my strength back to do it by myself. I try to think only about today, but it's hard not to think about how much longer I have with treatments.

My mom made an appointment for me for Tuesday to get my hair cut short. My Mom and sister are coming with me. Then we are going to a wig shop to pick one out for me before I lose my hair. At least my health insurance is paying for a wig and there is no price limit, so I can get a very nice one.

Tomorrow, Rob and I decided to get a family portrait done. He wanted a nice one of the three of us and me with my long hair. I know hair grows back, but a nice portrait will be nice. Hopefully the snow won't be so bad. We have a morning appointment, then Sean can play in the snow in the afternoon.

I called the plastic surgeon to find out my surgery time and found out that they are going to do the closure in the office. I am so happy that I don't have it done in the hospital. He is still going to make me sleepy, so I don't have to know what he is doing. That will be nice. They are hopefully going to call soon with the day and time for next week.

Big Couple of Days

2010-02-02T12:21:00.000-05:00

So where to start? This past weekend I did a lot. Saturday, I was able to do our errands with Rob and Sean. We went to Macy's, Target and Babies r us. I drove home from Macy's with Rob in the car for the first time. Then in the afternoon, I felt comfortable enough to drive myself to a much needed pedicure. It was nice to get out by myself. On Sunday, we visited Rob's mom, who I haven't seen since before the surgery. Rob had been to see her every weekend as usual.

Yesterday, I went into Manhattan by express bus by myself. I decided to walk from 3rd and 34th to 1st and 32nd to NYU hospital. It was far and tiring, but I did it. I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon since we had decided on doing the chemo. I needed to discuss with him our game plan. Since my oncologist wanted to try to start chemo by 8 weeks post-op, my plastic surgeon is going to get the ball rolling to maybe get me into surgery to close my belly next week. I am currently 6 weeks post-op today. He likes how the wound vac is helping my belly heal. He cleaned up my belly again. He said there is enough skin for closure, but his ideal situation is to let it heal naturally, but he doesn't want to interfere with starting chemo. The surgery would be out patient surgery and he said he would stitches that he would have to remove in 10 days. These stitches can keep the wound open slightly to help heal properly. The whole problem is having an open wound and doing chemo. Your body does not heal easily when doing chemo. My plastic surgeon is going to coordinate dates with my oncologist. He is still happy with how my breast is healing and the rest of the reconstruction will be done after my chemo is finished.

We then went to the NYU cancer center to visit one of Rob's friends that was getting chemo. She is getting the chemo treatment that I would be getting. I toured the center and it seems nice. You have a. choice of bed or recliner chair. Each area has a TV, phone and wireless access. She explained to me the entire procedure that she is doing. It takes about 5 hours total and I would have to go back the next day for a blood booster shot called neulesta. It was helpful talking to her and seeing the center.

We then went down one flight to let the oncologist know our plans. She gave me a few prescriptions that I would need and said that we will start either the week of February 15th or 22nd.

Decision

2010-01-29T17:26:00.000-05:00

I had my two oncology appointments on Wednesday. My first appointment was at Beth Israel Hospital. The doctor was nice. He suggested tamoxifen for five years and an ovarian suppressor for two years. He did not suggest chemo for me and said that I would have to look hard to find another doctor in NYC that would. He said that with the biology of my tumor, that ovarian suppression would take care of any roaming cells. He wasn't concerned that I am 39, the size of the tumor or that I had isolated tumor cells in one lymph node. We all left the appointment feeling pretty good thinking I would not need chemo.

We went to see the second oncologist at NYU. She was very nice as well. She also gave me the same treatment option as the other oncologist of tamoxifen and an ovarian suppression. She also gave me another option as well of chemo and tamoxifen. She said I am in a very grey area with my cancer and there is no absolute answer for my treatment, even with an onco score of 12. She recommended chemo with me because I am so young, I had a large 3.5cm tumor and isolated tumor cells in a lymph node. It was interesting to see the different reasoning with the same characteristics of the cancer. I also didn't have to go far to find a doctor to want to give me chemo.

We decided on the chemo option. We want to be aggressive. If I was 60, the decision would definitely be different, but I am young.

I am going to the plastic surgeon on Monday to discuss with him how much longer I need the wound vac on for, when i can get closed up and when I can start chemo. I am now 5 1/2 weeks post-op and the oncologist wants to start chemo by week 8. She said by 12 weeks, chemo wouldn't be recommended because it is too many weeks post-op and wouldn't be of any help. I am also going to have the plastic surgeon and oncologist discuss the best time for me to start the chemo.

Oncologists

2010-01-28T14:45:00.000-05:00

Sorry that I am not going into any explanations yet,but I have to work through this decision. I saw 2 oncologists yesterday and one said chemo and another did not. I am in a very grey area as the one who suggested chemo also gave me the same as the other doctor who did not suggest it. I will post more information soon and update the blog.

Sean

2010-01-25T19:00:00.000-05:00

So Sean finally noticed my pump tonight. He saw the bubbles going through the tube and he asked "What's that?" I told him it was just bubbles. He was fine with that explanation and continued watching the bubbles for 5 minutes until it was time for bed. He did follow the tube to my stomach and tried lifting my shirt to see where it was going, but I was able to tell him he couldn't look there and he was OK. Then right before bed he wanted to see the bubbles and I told him that they were away. He is definitely going to notice it again, hopefully I can keep the explanation as bubbles.

Today was a bad mental day. Everything just piled up on me. Rob came home early and took me out for lunch. It was nice to get out without the baby, even with the flooding and sideways rain.

Getting There

2010-01-24T10:46:00.000-05:00

I actually had a good night's sleep last night. Sean only woke up once, so that helped. It still hurts to sleep on either of my sides, which is how I like to sleep. I can't wait until I can.

Yesterday, we went to Target and Nathan's for lunch. It was a lot of walking, but it was good to get out. The wound vac is a pain to carry and gets uncomfortable, but I just have to deal with it.

The worst part of the wound vac is the tape covering the entire wound. It hurt when the nurse had to remove it on Friday. She will have to do it 3 times a week. When she removed it, I think some skin came with it. Also my wound or the tape is itching and I can't scratch it. It is driving me up the wall. Oh well.

Appointment with the Plastic Surgeon

2010-01-21T14:03:00.001-05:00

My appointment went well with the plastic surgeon. He decided to hook me up to the wound vac to help speed healing. He did give me a choice not to have it, but now the belly wound is covered and the visiting nurse only has to come 3 times a week instead of every day with the open wound. If I didn't get the wound vac, he still wasn't sewing me up today. He wants to keep the device on me for a few weeks and then sew me up in the operating room. It is hurting my stomach a little bit, but the doctor said it should stop hurting by tomorrow.

How long he keeps me hooked up depends on what happens at the oncologist appointments next week. He will tailor my treatment depending on what and when the oncologist wants to do. If I do need chemo, they won't do it with an open belly wound. So if either oncologist wants to start soon, I won't have to wait and he will sew me up sooner if needed.

Again he was happy with how my new breast is healing. He is taking off most of my restrictions. He advised that my belly will tell me when I am doing something I shouldn't. I am glad I can start driving again.

The wound vac is an interesting device. A piece of foam is placed into the incision/wound, a large piece of tape covers that with the tubing coming out of the tape. It is hooked up to the machine which is the size of a hardcover book and weighs a few pounds. I can clamp it off myself so I can shower. It does make some noise, not too loud though, but it sounds like it is farting. I can hear Sean saying "Mommy you farted". At least it won't scare him, but make him laugh.

Now we wait until Wednesday for the oncology appointments.

Good News

2010-01-20T10:55:00.002-05:00

I just heard from the surgeon and my oncotype dx test is back and my score is 12 out of 100, which means that I might not need chemotherapy. We will know more after speaking with the oncologist next week.

Oncotype DX information

Appointments and Such

2010-01-20T10:31:00.001-05:00

I am still waiting for an appointment time for tomorrow's appointment for the plastic surgeon. Tomorrow is not his regular appointment day and he is going to fit me in between surgeries. Rob is taking the day off to take me in. I am hoping he will stitch me up, but there is still a chance that I would be hooked up to the wound vac.

I am feeling OK today. Just tired as usual. At least the pain in my side is getting better and I can also lift my left arm over my head. My breast is healing nicely and is taking shape. You can't even see a difference though clothing.

I changed my oncology appointment to next week because of the plastic surgeon. I am still trying to get an appointment with another oncologist at Beth Israel. They have to call me back. I might do a third opinion with Sloan Kettering in Plainview, but I am going to wait until I get the appointment at Beth Israel.

Getting Out

2010-01-17T15:10:00.000-05:00

I finally got out of the house for something other than a doctor's appointment. Yesterday we walked over to the park. It was 2 blocks away & I was exhausted when we got back, but it was nice to see Sean playing in the park with his friend. We also went next door in the evening to our neighbor's house for dinner. It was a nice, but tiring day.

Today, we went to Barnes & Noble. That was enough for me. Now we are relaxing at home together.

All Cleaned Up

2010-01-16T10:10:00.000-05:00

After waiting 2 1/2 hours for my appointment, I finally got to see the doctor. He was very optimistic about the mess on my belly & said is a common complication that can be easily fixed with no issue. He then kicked my mom & Rob out of the room. (They wanted to see this part.) He & the nurse cleaned up the belly & cut away all the bad & dead tissue. He then cauterized the gash which the nurse told me now looks like a large hole. She told me to try to not to look at it. The doctor said that the wound won't smell now, which I was glad to hear. The smell of dead skin on your own body is pretty gross. The doctor advised me that when he does stitch me up, my stomach is going to be even flatter since he had to cut so much tissue out. I have to go back to see the doctor on Thursday to either be sewn up or given a wound vac. Since I don't know the time yet, I am going to change my oncology appointment. One good thing about the surgery is my new breast looks beautiful & the doctor was very happy with the results. I am happy too.

After the appointment, I was feeling pretty good. The wound itself didn't smell & felt a little better. It was a long day though. Today, I am feeling a little anxious about the wound & showering. I don't know if I am going to be able to do it. Rob & Sean left to do errands & nurse will be here before they get back. So I don't know if I want to try and do it myself today.

The doctor did tell me I was allowed out in public places, so Rob said if I was up for it, we would go out for dinner & get me out of the house. Getting out of the house would be nice.

Waiting

2010-01-14T15:59:00.001-05:00

So tomorrow is the big day. I finally get to see the plastic surgeon. Hopefully he will be able to give me some reassuring news. Mom & Dad are taking me into the city & Rob will meet us there, since he is back at work. My appointment is for 11:45. I hope he won't be too backed up.

I had a new visiting nurse today, since my regular one is on vacation for a week. She took one look at my belly and said, "That's bad." Really? I didn't know that. She was nice though. She explained this device called a wound vac. She said the Dr would probably clean up and remove all the dead, black tissue and then sew me up with the wound vac in. It is a vacuum that is inserted into the wound to suck out anything bad in it. She said it helps the wound heal very quickly. I hope the doctor does something. I can't wait for this gaping hole to heal on it's own.

Oncologist

2010-01-12T12:07:00.001-05:00

I made an appointment with an oncologist at NYU Cancer Center for next Thursday. I have to wait for the oncatype DX results, so that appointment might be changed. I tried to make another one at Beth Israel, but they don't take my insurance right now. They are under negotiations for the new year. My friend is looking into seeing if the doctor will see me anyway. I am also looking into another doctor on the island.

The nurse said my belly is starting to look good. Slow, but it is healing. I can't wait for my appointment on Friday.

On My Own

2010-01-11T10:25:00.001-05:00

Today I am by myself for the morning. Tomorrow Rob is going back to work. Rob had me shower yesterday by myself. It was OK until I had to touch my gaping hole in my belly to find the gauze the nurse had packed in there. I did get it all, but it freaked me out. I haven't looked at it yet, but touching it has reaffirmed that I shouldn't.

I woke up this morning with pain on my heel. I realized that my heels were so dry that it split open. I guess not moisturizing and walking much has killed my feet. :( I will have to bandage it good so it won't get infected.

So looking forward to my Dr appointment on Friday.

Stuck in the House

2010-01-09T15:00:00.001-05:00

I wish I could go out. I wish my belly would heal. At least it is less than a week until my appointment. It would nice to have more visitors.

The exercises are really difficult, but I know if I don't do them I will lose mobility in my left arm. So I do them. Rob keeps trying to encourage me and tells me that if I don't do them I won't get my yummy dinner. Push through the pain.

Visiting Nurse

2010-01-07T08:48:00.001-05:00

The visiting nurse is now coming every day. She checked the wound in my belly and found it worse since last time she saw it. She made a new report for the belly and released the checking of the breast. The belly wound has gotten wider and deeper. It is 3cm deep in one area on the right. This might be why I might have the pain on the right side. The nurse is going to come every day now until I see my plastic surgeon on the 15th. I am not allowed in any public places until the open wound is closed. Since it is so cold out, I am limited to the apartment. At least I am not in the hospital.

Yesterday was nice though. My mom's friend, Ruth, got us a cleaning lady. It nice to have a nice clean house.

Good Day

2010-01-05T15:28:00.001-05:00

I had the appointment with the surgeon today. She is very happy with the look of the breast and even gave me exercises to start today to get my arm mobility back. She checked my belly and the redness was lower than the line was yesterday. She said I was OK enough not to need the IV antibiotics. The visiting nurse is suppose to start coming everyday, so she should be able to keep an eye on it. The doctor also suggested that the plastic surgeon clean up the belly and close it up. We will be discussing that with him next week. I really don't want to have this open wound for weeks, since I am not allowed in public places while I have it. It limits where I am allowed to go.

Other than that, we are hanging in there. We thank everyone for their thoughts and well wishes. Rob is going back to work next week and I will be good next week to be by myself.

My next appointment is for the plastic surgeon next Friday.

Problems Healing

2010-01-04T16:19:00.001-05:00

I had my appointment with the plastic surgeon today. Since my surgeon is still on vacation, I saw one of his associates. She was very nice. She said the breast is healing beautifully, which we already knew. She examined my belly and was not happy with how it is healing. I have a 4-6 inch opening in my belly that is about 1/2 inch deep. She changed the dressing type and gave me stronger antibiotics. She also drew a line on my belly where it is red and if the new antibiotics do not shrink it or if it goes above the line tomorrow, I have to go back into the hospital for a few days of IV antibiotics. If everything looks OK at tomorrow's appointment, then I will see my plastic surgeon on the 15th and discuss whether to leave it heal or go in for out patient surgery to clean the opening and close it up.

We will know more tomorrow.

Restful Weekend

2010-01-03T18:28:00.000-05:00

It was Rob's birthday today. I wasn't able to do anything more than sing him happy birthday. Sean has been saying it to him all day and saying Daddy wanted present. Rob took him to the mall to get them both out of the house.

I am hanging in there. I get to leave the house tomorrow for my appointment with the plastic surgeon. Hopefully, he will think the open wound on my belly is doing OK. Good thing is that it doesn't hurt. I really have no feeling there at all. We will see what he says.

Pathology Report

2010-01-01T09:19:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! My surgeon called last night with my pathology report. It was good news. My tumor was 3.5 cm and the ones that had only shown up on the MRI were actually extensions of the larger tumor. It was good that I had the mastecomy. I am listed as Stage IIA. All the nodes that were removed were listed as N0 - which is considered negative, but one lymphnode did have isolated tumor cells. Dr said that was still ok. I have to do some research into it.

Our next step is choosing an oncologist to discuss treatment options. Dr Axelrod said she would fit me in on Monday before her surgery and then I can see Dr Levine, the plastic surgeon, since that appt was changed to Monday, both follow up appts.

Snowy Day

2009-12-31T09:49:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year. Just sitting here watching the snow. Feeling better today and not too itchy. Only issue is I have my old pain back by my gallbladder that was removed in May. The surgeon said that he fixed a small hernia that I had by my belly button. I am now wondering if the belly pain was actually a hernia and I what I am feeling now is the hernia healing. Since my plastic surgeon is on vacation, I will have to ask him exactly where when he gets back. Other than that doing OK today.

Minor Setback

2009-12-30T10:23:00.002-05:00

Just as I was starting to feel better, I found out I am allergic to the antibiotic, clindamyacin. I know have a very itchy, full body rash. They switched me to levequin. Hopefully, benedryl will stop the itching. Very bad night sleep with the itching. See if the changes the meds will help today. Breast is healing nicely, with the belly holding steady. The belly is an open wound and we have a visiting nurse coming a few days a week. Hopefully, it will heal soon.
I am by myself this morning as Rob is doing errands.

I am hoping the itching stops soon.

Going home

2009-12-28T10:54:00.000-05:00

Going home today...drains are all out...feeling pretty good...get to see Sean...get to take a shower...Rob on his way to pick me up.

Good day

2009-12-27T07:23:00.000-05:00

Good day today...moving around good...not too much pain...wish the drains were out...hopefully home by Tuesday. ..miss everyone. ...yucky rain today. ...can't see my nice view.

Finally

2009-12-26T12:20:00.000-05:00

Finally out of bed...foley out...getting my own room later...hooray...should get out of here by Tues...can't wait for a real shower.

Another vein

2009-12-26T02:45:00.002-05:00

bad veins...another iv done...number 7...only out of bed for 1/2 hour yesterday...still in stepdown unit...i want to go to a regular room already....lucky if i am home by tues...would like visitors.
at least view is nice...

Update

2009-12-24T09:04:00.003-05:00

Hi everyone,
Thanks for the support. I am still not allowed out of bed and I am still in the stepdown unit. at least I got real food today. I am keeping it short as it is hard to type. I am allowed visitors and phone calls. You can call NYU room or cell.
Gail

Gail's Surgery

2009-12-23T09:29:00.001-05:00

Gail's surgery went well. She was on the table for just under 6 hours. There were no complications. Best of all, the initial pathology of her lymph nodes indicate the cancer has NOT spread. There is a very small chance the full pathology panel will find something the initial one missed. We will have the results of the full panel in around a week.

I want to thank all of you for your thoughts, prayers and positive energy. This has been (and still is) a very difficult time for us and we appreciate the support we are receiving from all of you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you...

Rob

Surgery Tomorrow at 7:30am

2009-12-21T17:40:00.000-05:00

My surgery is scheduled for 7:30am tomorrow, Tuesday, Dec 22. I am having it at NYU in Manhattan. I will be in the hospital for at least 5 days.

I will try to have Rob post an update or when I am feeling better, I will.

Gail

Last Day Before Surgery

2009-12-21T07:55:00.000-05:00

I am is going into the city today to look at the tree at Rockefeller Center and have lunch with Rob. I am also getting the radioactive dye injected into my lymph nodes for tomorrow's surgery at 2pm downtown.

I am almost done packing. I still have to pack for Sean to sleep at his cousin, Julian and Danny's house. Rob loaded movies for me on my droid. I finished all the pillows and made a cuddle pillow for Sean. He loved it. He slept with it all night.

I am still waiting to find out the time of the surgery tomorrow. They should let me know sometime today.
Gail

Snow & Sewing

2009-12-19T17:28:00.000-05:00

I got to watch the boys play in the snow. Sean was so cute. Daddy was showing him how to make foot prints in the snow and then they played with his friend Tommy.

I am finishing up the breast cancer pillows. I made 13 of them. I am going to give away 10 of them.

Gail

Sewing

2009-12-18T09:03:00.000-05:00

I am going to sew today. I bought some fleece and I am going to make myself a breast cancer heart that I can use under my arm after the mastectomy. I also figured since I had enough fabric, I would make a few more and hand them out to anyone else at the hospital who also has a mastectomy. I have enough for 13 hearts.

Gail

Last Time

2009-12-17T07:47:00.000-05:00

So today I am getting my last manicure/pedicure with getting my cuticles cut. I found out that after you have a mastectomy you have to be extra careful with getting a cut (cutting cuticles), blood pressure cannot be taken on that arm and among other things. You have to be careful because that can lead to lymphodema. Blech.

I will enjoy this today.

For more information: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/supportivecare/lymphedema/Patient

Bad Veins

2009-12-16T06:48:00.000-05:00

So I had my pre-op testing yesterday. The nurse had no problems drawing blood, but when I went for the CT scan they needed a big vein which I did not have. The CT tech had to stick me 4 times until she got a big enough vein for the dye for the scan. I have bad veins to begin with and she said that they were all small and flat, basically not good for the study. After 20 minutes, she did finally find something.

Good News!

2009-12-14T13:07:00.000-05:00

I am BRCA negative. This means I do not have the 3 most common genetic mutations in the Ashkenazi jewish line. This also means we don't know why I got breast cancer so young. I could still have another genetic mutation, but to find that out it is done with sequencing and we won't find those results out for another 2 weeks. I am going ahead with a single mastectomy and see what happens with those results later.

Gail

Deciding on Short Hair

2009-12-13T11:02:00.000-05:00

I still haven't decided if I am cutting my hair before the surgery or not. I am going to cut it before chemo though. Since I have semi-curly hair, my options are kind of limited to a puff ball haircut.

I found two hairdos that might be ok.

I Have Breast Cancer

2009-12-12T14:49:00.000-05:00

I am sorry that some of you are going to find out this way, but I am a little overwhelmed with telling everyone. I figured this way everyone will know what is going on without leaving anyone out.

On October 13, 2009, I went in for my semi-annual checkup with my gynecologist and she found a lump in my left breast. She advised me to get a mammogram and a sonogram. I had done a self exam a few months before and didn’t feel anything, but when I left her office I felt a pea sized lump that was not there before.

On October 28^th, I went in for my mammogram and sonogram. They immediately advised me to schedule a biopsy on not only the one mass that my doctor had found, but on 3 masses (7mm, 8mm and 2.1cm). I was able to schedule the biopsy for the next day.

On October 29^th, I had my core needle biopsy on my left breast. It was not bad at all. They numbed me up pretty well. They biopsied the 3 masses and put a titanium marker in each one so we would know which ones were biopsied already. After the biopsy, I had another mammogram to make sure they got the areas.

On November 1^st, 3 days after my 39^th birthday, I received my positive diagnosis for Infiltrating Well-Differentiated Ductal Carcinoma on all 3 masses. After reading the pathology report, we realized that if you were going to get breast cancer, I had a good one to get. I have a very good outcome of beating it. The pathology report showed that it is:

1. Well-differentiated (Looks the most like normal cells and tends to be slow-growing and less likely to spread to the lymph nodes).

2. All 3 sites showed similar architecture with well formed tubules and focal cribriform architecture with a grade of 1/3

3. Intermediate grade of 2/3

4. Low mitotic rate of 1/4

The combined histologic score is 4/9, which means again that it is slow-growing Grade 1 cancer. I am also estrogen positive, progesterone positive and HER-2/neu negative. This means that they can cut off my estrogen and progesterone to make it stop growing.

On November 2^nd, I had a MRI with dye done on both breasts. They found 2 more masses (5mm and 2.6cm) near the chest wall in the left breast. The right breast was still clear.

On November 19^th, I finally got in to a doctor at Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. I am not mentioning this doctors name since we decided not to go with them. The doctor offered me a lumpectomy with would take out 2 1/2 inches from the top of my left breast. There would be a noticeable dip in the top and smaller size. She said a mastectomy of the left breast would change my chance of a reoccurrence from 5-10% for the lumpectomy or a 5% chance for the mastectomy over 10-15 years. I would only have a .7% per year over 10-15 years for the right one. To me, that is still a chance of getting it again. So I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.

We decided with the Sloan doctor to do a MRI biopsy of the 2 spots on the left breast that had not been biopsied yet, since she did not think I needed a mastectomy. At the time, I couldn’t understand why with the lumpectomy, she was emphasizing the deformity so much. I figured I would get a reconstruction. I was also given an appointment to get tested for the BRCA gene, since I am an Ashkenazi Jew and the defect gene is prevalent in this lineage. I also had an appointment for the MRI on Dec 7 and an appt with the plastic surgeon on Dec 9.

On November 24^th, I had a second with Dr. Axelrod at the NYU Cancer Center. She took one look at me and said that if we did a lumpectomy that I would not have any breast left on the left side. Since I was so young and they do not do reconstructions on lumpectomies, she did not want to leave me so deformed. At the time at the appointment at Sloan, I didn’t understand why the doctor kept emphasizing the deformity. Dr. Axelrod said it is a general practice that reconstruction is not done on lumpectomies. After talking with Dr. Axelrod, she advised us to think about everything over the weekend and to let her know on Monday what we would decide. She wanted to know whatever we decided that she would like an update on me if we didn’t use NYU. She did tell me that she wanted me to speak to another plastic surgeon, Dr. Sloan, for another consultation.

On November 30^th, I had my consultation with Dr. Sloan. He gave me 3 options for reconstruction: implant, LatFlap (back muscle transplanted with implant) or Tram Flap (tummy tuck with transplanting belly fat into a new breast). We decided to go with the TRAM procedure since it was the most real looking and a get a tummy tuck out of the deal. Not too bad.

On December 1^st, we got in to see Dr. Axelrod and made our decision to go with NYU Cancer Center. Overall, we felt more comfortable there. I also cancelled my appointment for the MRI biopsy since I was having the breast removed; I would not need it biopsied prior to the mastectomy.

I had an appointment later that day with the Genetics counselor to test me for the BRCA gene. She explained to me the percentages of reoccurrence of the breast cancer if I was BRCA positive. Rob and I decided that if I was positive that I would have both breasts removed as well as a possibility of my ovaries, since BRCA positive also increases your risk of ovarian cancer by at least 50%.

So here is where I stand now. I am waiting for the BRCA test to come in to decide if it is one or two breats.

My Upcoming appointments:
Dec 15^th - Preop testing at 10am
Dec 15^th - CTScan of the Belly at 1pm to make sure the belly is viable since I had a c-section and 3 laps through my belly button
Dec 16^th – BRCA Gene test results
Dec 21^st - Radioactive dye injected into my lymph nodes to see if the cancer has spread there
Dec 22^nd - SURGERY

The surgery will be 6-8 hours. I will be in the hospital for 5-6 days. (Yes, I will be in the hospital for Christmas. At this point, none of us wanted to wait until January. Both doctors were going on vacation.) This procedure is the longest one both for surgery time, hospitalization and recovery at home because I am using my own tissue for the reconstruction.

I will try to keep this updated, but recovery might get in the way. I will probably be getting chemo and if the lymph nodes are positive, radiation as well. I am still deciding when I will get a short haircut, before the surgery or before the chemo.